Shout And Twist

ALBUM OF THE MILLENNIUM

2012-01-08T09:19:00.005Z

The Maccabees 'Given to the Wild' (Fiction)

Some bands just aren't as big as they should be. Two remarkably astute albums in and The Maccabees are still battling for 'big 'n' great' status, least among those outside their cult fanbase. It's not like the songs haven't always been there, too. Heck, 'Latchmere' and its wave machine is still more a choon than anything off 'Born This Way'. And 'Given to the Wild' - by way of sugared, spacious soundscapes, now-customary tingly guitar-picking and singer Orlando Weeks realising his inspiriting Patty Mayonnaise-indie howl more than ever - is yet further proof these are waaaaay beyond most. 'Child' subsumes into some 'Game of Thrones'-climbs-Everest saga, as Orlando squeals the album's title atop silvery trumpets, while 'Ayla' keeps the pep juices flowing by futzing with piano, of all things. Love story 'Heave' turns the Eno-like, syrupy aerospace back on, only to sling itself head-first in with rapid, plucky guitars, as make-you-want-to-cry cries of "Are we so different?" strike above. It'll have you standing up in applause like you've just seen Katy Perry and Russell Brand fool all into thinking they were married. Closer 'Grew up at Midnight', though, is about the most stunningly beautiful and majestic few minutes the band have ever tailored, and the only way this album could have ended. Right now, The Maccabees just aren't as big as they should be. But more fool the world if this doesn't change that.

Albums Of 2011 - No. 10 to No. 1

2011-12-09T23:58:00.005Z

1. Coldplay 'Mylo Xyloto' -
The happiest these have ever sounded results in yet another remarkable album, inhabited with fervency, bald-faced pop and one typically heartening concept.

2. Beirut 'The Rip Tide' -
Stupendous effort from Zach Condon and his reliable trumpet. Rest of world music, over to you.

3. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds 'Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds' -
Who needs a lairy front when the songs are this sturdy? So worth the wait.

4. Bombay Bicycle Club 'A Different Kind of Fix' -
Accomplished, thoughtful indie from the most exciting band on the planet.

5. Elbow 'Build a Rocket Boys!' -
Pressure? What pressure? Guy Garvey's men prosper under that Mercury win with this.

6. Bon Iver 'Bon Iver' -
Loaded, wholehearted harmonies make for the year's most life-affirming album.

7. Chapel Club 'Palace' -
Pure proof that bands with no strings can still make the grade.

8. Lykke Li 'Wounded Rhymes' -
Kooky silk-pop but with the choons to match. Lady who?

9. Yuck 'Yuck' -
Loud-quiet schmaltz makes one heck of a comeback. So out-of-place, it's refreshing.

10. Blink-182 'Neighborhoods' -
Not quite the masterpiece we craved, but very nearly.

Albums Of 2011 - No. 20 to No. 11

2011-12-09T00:00:00.001Z

11. The Wombats 'This Modern Glitch' -
Much, much too fun to care about the haterz.

12. Panic! at the Disco 'Vices & Virtues' -
A hooks-stuffed reminder of what made these so striking in the first place.

13. Death Cab for Cutie 'Codes and Keys' -
Fresh enough to lock down their place in history.

14. The Lonely Forest 'Arrows' -
Warm and fuzzy indie how it's sposed to be made.

15. Laura Marling 'A Creature I Don't Know' -
2011's preeminent folk record (from a woman).

16. White Lies 'Ritual' -
The new leaders of depressingly feel-good indie.

17. Example 'Playing in the Shadows' -
Fun, pompous and infectious as a cold.

18. Bright Eyes 'The People's Key' -
Conor returns to his delicate ways via a 'lectro sidewalk.

19. The Streets 'Computers and Blues' -
Skinner goes out with one triumphant bang.

20. Radiohead 'The King of Limbs' -
Soothing like 'In Rainbows' but surveys new ground, too.

Albums Of 2011 - No. 30 to No. 21

2011-12-08T00:00:00.001Z

21. Benjamin Francis Leftwich 'Last Smoke Before The Snowstorm' -
2011's preeminent folk record (from a man).

22. Manchester Orchestra 'Simple Math' -
Intense and tranquil all the same. Stunning.

23. You Me at Six 'Sinners Never Sleep' -
Boys grow into men for prime pop-punk.

24. The Vaccines 'What Did You Expect From The Vaccines?' -
Tuneful anthemia from a band here to stay.

25. Arctic Monkeys 'Suck It and See' -
Welcome back, boys. Finest since 'Whatever...'.

26. The Joy Formidable 'The Big Roar' -
Irksome frontlady aside, this is top.

27. Pete And The Pirates 'One Thousand Pictures' -
More sugary sweet indie ditties.

28. The Throne 'Watch the Throne' -
This could only have ever been masterly.

29. Ben Howard 'Every Kingdom' -
Still room for another folk supremo after this.

30. The Naked And Famous 'Passive Me, Aggressive You' -
Exciting debut. Could conquer all.

Albums Of 2011 - No. 40 to No. 31

2011-12-07T00:00:00.001Z

31. Beady Eye 'Different Gear, Still Speeding' -
Actually not that shit at all.

32. Kaiser Chiefs 'The Future Is Medieval' -
Actually not that shit at all.

33. TV on the Radio 'Nine Types of Light' -
Probably their best album yet.

34. Rihanna 'Talk That Talk' -
Half is ace. The rest is not.

35. Florence + the Machine 'Ceremonials' -
Typically entrancing but at points too much.

36. Other Lives 'Tamer Animals' -
Captivating listen with bags' potential.

37. Snow Patrol 'Fallen Empires' -
Strongest since 'Eyes Open'.

38. Beyoncé '4' -
Not enough great shakes.

39. Adele '21' -
Just a lil' bit overrated.

40. British Sea Power 'Valhalla Dancehall' -
Another fine BSP instalment.

Albums Of 2011 - No. 50 to No. 41

2011-12-06T00:00:00.004Z

41. Kasabian 'Velociraptor!' -
Not as good as they think it is.

42. M83 'Hurry Up, We're Dreaming' -
Double album? Really?

43. The Strokes 'Angles' -
A sadly underwhelming comeback.

44. Red Hot Chili Peppers 'I'm with You' -
More of the same.

45. Noah and the Whale 'Last Night on Earth' -
Overly ambitious for album three.

46. The Drums 'Portamento' -
Too many misses. Not enough hits.

47. Glasvegas 'EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\' -
Decent, if forgettable.

48. Lady Gaga 'Born This Way' -
Everything but the matter.

49. Tom Vek 'Leisure Seizure' -
Not worth the six-year wait.

50. R.E.M. 'Collapse into Now' -
A so-so goodbye.

One Dopey Performance

2011-12-03T12:27:00.006Z

There is non-music and there is music. There is the BRIT School and there are 'Guitarist wanted' ads in NME. And there is The X Factor and there is Coldplay.

These are borders about as stern as Gaza. They are worlds not meant to collide. Ever. But, following yesterday's much-dreaded confirmation that Chris Martin and his men are to perform on next weekend's X Factor finale, one such line is about to be crossed in full ITV1-schlocky techno glitter.

The thing is, Coldplay have never negotiated the perimeter before. They may be the most love-to-hated band on the planet, but those against their soft rock anthemia can't at any time accuse them of ho-ing themselves over the last decade or so. Diet Coke, Gap and Gatorade all hurled them million-dollar pacts, yet the reply has always been NO.

So why now have the Hampstead-based foursome decided that the time is right to exhibit themselves on Saturday night telly in amongst non-music One Direction, non-music Leona Lewis and non-music 'whoever wins the damn thing'? Well, the motivations, I believe, are fourfold.

"We all love The X Factor and we enjoy the show but we can't go on it. We do something different," said Martin merely five weeks ago. But he is a frontman of flaky, Woody Allen-helmed paranoia; One who often contradicts himself on just about everything and either goes full-throttle in love or rules out the world entirely. Said Martin yesterday: "We're all big X Factor fans so we're very excited to play live on the show."

He, too, is a good mate of a certain Gary Barlow, the only (truly) talented one in Take That and head X Factor judge, of course. Barlow is the number-one reason Coldplay would even inspect such an offer. I'm thinking late-night, hour-long calls of he justifying to Martin that Matt Cardle's 'Run for Your Life' is a fine pop ditty purely on the basis that someone, he, wrote it.

Not to mention, most of Coldplay (like most of the nation) are genuine fans of The X Factor. I am, too. For its utterly contrived and gloriously histrionic premise, it is easily the best (un)reality show on TV. Saturday and Sunday nights just aren't the same without the tension it brings along. But this express ticket to the music biz doesn't really count - it's not proper and never will be. All it is is great TV.

However, another force behind Martin's decision is that he says he no longer sees the borders himself. Music has become one in his eyes - and in fairness, Mylo Xyloto is about the most pop his band have ever sounded. "Don't you think that music now shouldn't fall into a particular box? I don't think anyone thinks like that anymore," he insisted earlier this year.

What is ironic about Coldplay's sudden mini-pop transformation and agreement to play The X Factor, is that I - forever an NME-spun indie snob yet with an 'I fucking love Coldplay' front - have actually started listening to the current acts congesting the singles chart. Rihanna, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry - those who have naturally played The X Factor of late - spark good, wholesome choons. But unless they honest-to-goodness fashioned 'em themselves, fuhgeddaboudit.

To drop them as my most favourite band now all because of one dopey performance on a reality TV show would be silly. But in truth, that is all I can handle. No Amelia Lily duets. No finalists-hurdle-round-the-piano-for-'Paradise' spectacles. No Barlow 'Back For Good' collabs. One dopey performance and we can move on.

Album Of Last Month

2011-12-01T00:00:00.002Z

Rihanna 'Talk That Talk' (Def Jam Recordings)

Given the quota of super-duper producer masterminds hitched to propa pop at present, one does wonder how much sweat the fronts really put in to their ditties. Especially when this front, Rihanna, is on her sixth record in seven years and has deployed a good dozen ideas folk to operate on it. 'Talk That Talk' does struggle to keep steady, too - Bangladesh-produced dancehall-pivoted 'Cockiness (Love It)' is three eternities away from 'Drunk on Love', a more typical, sultry RiRi anthem only with The xx (yes, really) pledging the comely backdrop - but that's not to imply the album fails to flow right in light of its frantic undercurrent. The Jay-Z-rapping title track has to rival 'We Found Love' as one of her finest ever moments. 'Farewell', though, contains an Alex da Kid-helmed pining chorus so alike to the last album's 'California King Bed', it's almost lazy. Half of 'Talk That Talk' is so masterly, the notion of Rihanna simply turning up to lay down her vocals just doesn't matter. But a little less producer-mashing could have made it the undeviating triumph we've been longing. Maybe next year.

Best Track –
'Talk That Talk'

Album Of Last Month

2011-11-01T00:00:00.004Z

Coldplay 'Mylo Xyloto' (Parlophone)

"I think this will be our last record," recently declared Chris Martin, leader of the biggest (soft) rock band in the world and a man so troubled he refuses to believe his Grammy-winning, multi-million-shifting band actually have any fans unless 70,000 of them are chanting 'Yellow' back at him inside Wembley Stadium. If it wasn't for Martin's you're-only-as-good-as-your-last-song paranoia, however, we wouldn't already have four very consistent Coldplay albums. And now, just over two years after said-Wembley shows wound up their 'Viva' era, here comes record number five - but does it prevail?

Well, 'Mylo Xyloto' (a name concocted after it picked up no Google results… there's now over 20 million) is plainly the happiest these have ever sounded. Whether Martin has finally nursed himself over the haters is hard to tell, but there's a zeal and unashamed drive for good-ol' nuggety pop here that Coldplay have scarcely paraded before. The jingly jangles and sonic swishes hinted at on 'Viva' are vim'd up in full techno-colour, almost like van Gogh's 'Starry Night' is alive for the 3D generation.

This montage of bright, shiny chords and Red Bull-jerked vigour, no doubt stalked from one-of-four producers Brian 'I created ambience' Eno, can feel tousled at points. And 'Princess of China' - the much-awaited Rihanna team-up - does curiously bulge out of nowhere. Even so, these really are trivial scuffles with yet another remarkable Coldplay record, inhabited with fervency, bald-faced pop and yes, a concept.

Mylo and Xyloto are two oppressed lovebirds battling for one another, you see (what else is a contented family man gonna write about, anyway?!) 'Hurts Like Heaven' is where it all takes off, a fiery out-the-blocks statement of intent - one not so felt since 'Politik' - as Martin chants, "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like heaven," for the double-barrelled lovelorn chorus. The cutely-named 'Charlie Brown' also follows the line of resoluteness, while recent single 'Paradise' might just be the most FM moment of them all... least till RiRi comes calling.

There's about three songs fashioned nearly entirely devoid of synth, of which 'U.F.O.'s stripped-down, arresting beauty is enough to make Ed Sheeran et al fire themselves now in respect. Our assured leader tenderly sings of how Mylo and Xyloto have found each other, yearning for "somewhere the streets are made with gold". It brings to mind the heartfelt romance of 'WALL-E', while the graceful acoustic-picking going on behind will most likely have the sensitive blubbering.

As far as Rihanna is concerned, though, it's not so much the collaboration that's troubling - heck, Martin once penned a tune for Nelly Furtado - but her breathy vocals on 'Princess of China' just don't sit right among the rest of the album. The track's hard-and-fast throbs and dreamlike passage work wonders, with her and Martin in a lilting bellow, "You stole my star, la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la," yet it all feels too out-of-place here.

Leonard Cohen is next to lend his artistry, although only through a sample in closer 'Up with the Birds'. Not quite the end-of-dance ballad one might expect, Jonny Buckland gets to remit looping guitar lines under Martin's suddenly low crooning and a set of divine soft keys. "But I know one day, good things are coming our way," he calls out as the record crosses the finishing line. It's a majestic ending of love and hope defeating the whole schmear - and after all is said and done, isn't that what this band are for?

'Mylo Xyloto' is unashamedly pop and a collective feeling safe in their own skin (that includes Martin), something which Coldplay should be applauded for. And while 'X&Y' at 13 tracks outstayed its welcome only slightly, 'Mylo Xyloto' is one more and simply doesn't. If anything, you'll be left wondering what happens next… That said, this would make one hell of a last record.

Best Track –
'U.F.O.'

Album Of Last Month

2011-10-01T00:00:00.003Z

Blink-182 'Neighborhoods' (Geffen)

When Blink-182 announced their comeback at the 2009 Grammys, they strutted on stage with a near-pompous 'Guess who's back' swagger, as if we should all just blank out the past five years without them. Heck, Mark Hoppus even yelped: "Blink-182 is back!" This kind of self-importance would look ugly on about 99% of all pop-punk, but not Blink. They've done too much good - and 'Neighborhoods', albeit not quite the masterwork fans would have itched for, patently illustrates why these need to never cross swords again. Opener 'Ghost on the Dance Floor's spirited tunefulness rivals 'Adam's Song' and 'Dammit' as one of their all-time anthems, while 'Wishing Well' and 'Love is Dangerous' are enough for the current Kerrang! scene to quit now in awe. Hoppus is right, Blink-182 is back!

Best Track –
'Ghost on the Dance Floor'

Album Of Last Month

2011-09-01T00:00:00.001Z

Beirut 'The Rip Tide' (Pompeii Records)

The last time Beirut set foot in the limelight, it almost felt like Zach Condon's curious solo venture encountered the odd indie folk hit by chance. But now, after taking in third album 'The Rip Tide', it's incontestable this man and his trumpet knew entirely what they were doing in fashioning good-old nuggety indie-jazz-folk-pop (if you wlll). 'Santa Fe' is probably the only track on here a tad misguided in its accordion-fused peppiness. But that's only a tad. Everything else is stupendous. Rest of world music, over to you...

Best Track –
'The Rip Tide'

Album Of Last Month

2011-08-01T00:00:00.004Z

Benjamin Francis Leftwich 'Last Smoke Before the Snowstorm' (Dirty Hit)

These days, one can't stroll a mile without bumping into the next singer-songwriter/folk supremo/lone chansonnier to take over from the last one. And he may well be all of the above, but there's something striking about Yorkshire's Benjamin Francis Leftwich, made blatant by this ten-track debut album. 'Pictures' opens up with a Marling-territory milieu, which pretty much sets the grounds for all else to come. 'Atlas Hands', whose rights no doubt T-Mobile are scrapping for this very minute (don't do it, Benjamin!), is defo one to hand the grandkids, while 'Don't Go Slow' - although straightforward - wishes for love like a Kensington trollop... Awww, it feels like Christmas.

Best Track –
'Pictures'

Album Of Last Month

2011-07-01T00:00:00.002Z

Bon Iver 'Bon Iver' (4AD)

"I'm pretty convinced it's my record of the year already," says Adele of Bon Iver's self-titled second album. Not that we need the hottest songstress on the planet's say-so or anything - Justin Vernon and company's latest venture does all its earth-shattering on its own footing. Unlike the debut 'For Emma, Forever Ago', this wasn't tailored in a far-flung Wisconsin cabin, but instead comes off more assured and slick (but not too glossy). 'Holocene' is bonnier than Pippa Middleton in a tutu, mingling slow-burning finger-picking with awry saxophone. And 'Calgary' sees to the expiry date of romance ("Don't you cherish me to sleep") by way of loaded, wholehearted harmonies. Phwoar, what an album.

Best Track –
'Holocene'

Album Of Last Month

2011-06-01T00:00:00.002Z

Death Cab for Cutie 'Codes and Keys' (Atlantic)

For a band to seem relevant seven studio albums in is quite a feat. But then we've been wise to Death Cab for Cutie's adroitness for well over a decade now - and 'Codes and Keys' is the latest example of such. The title track, a bushy-tailed, piano-led sketch nagged any faster could spring from Duran Duran's 'Rio', is one of the finest things these have ever formed. Same more or less goes for the instantly wistful 'Monday Morning' - Ben Gibbard's tone as soothing as ever - and 'Underneath the Sycamore', probably more remedial than an AA meeting. Send these songs out on a sharp new band and they'll tear up the nation. Otherwise, Death Cab's place in history is locked.

Best Track –
'Codes and Keys'

Album Of Last Month

2011-05-01T00:00:00.003Z

The Wombats 'This Modern Glitch' (14th Floor Records)

We already know that the world is made up of two lots of species: Those near-neurotic about The Wombats' zappy indie-pop, and those much hostile to The Wombats' phony infernal shtick. But see, what we may not know - or at least, the latter won't be versed in - is that this Mersey-based trio are in actuality way deeper than your regular pack of Smarties. Frontman Matthew Murphy was addicted to anti-depressants (as laid out in latest single 'Anti-D'), for goodness sake! That, a few extra bits of sombre wordplay ("Last night I dreamt I died alone through all my talk of self-defeat...") and a tighter assortment of more-of-the-same Red Bull babel still won't pocket 'em any credence, but this is too much of a good time to care.

Best Track –
'Anti-D'

Album Of Last Month

2011-04-01T00:00:00.000Z

Elbow 'Build a Rocket Boys!' (Fiction/Polydor)

Elbow may have detected some added pressure assembling fifth album 'Build a Rocket Boys!'. But if securing 2009's Mercury Prize did have any mastery over their practice, the North Manchester five-piece only appear to have prospered under it. Their rich, unshackling babel is felt from beginning to end, with a now-at-peace Guy Garvey having to dig deep to come by his blues - no right-minded Elbow devotee wants to hear about the sun's rays, anyhow. An eight-minute intro that actually feels like four precedes the anti-media-anti-hoody 'Lippy Kids', the handsomest moment on here. 'Jesus Is a Rochdale Girl' is Garvey in classic flashback-mode, while the pensiveness of 'Dear Friends' cuts it home like warm cherry pie. Really, nobody does it better.

Best Track –
'Lippy Kids'

Album Of Last Month

2011-03-01T00:00:00.001Z

Radiohead 'The King of Limbs' (Self-released)

It was always going to happen like this. Far gone are the days of Radiohead embarking on a smartly-structured 'promotional model' to brief the planet of their long-awaited comeback. In fact, did they ever? Studio album number eight 'The King of Limbs' abides by the dulcet, soothing manner of 2007's 'In Rainbows', although a busier 'lectro habitat is grounded within its bulk. Lead single 'Lotus Flower' (or as close to a lead single these get to) is a throbbing, Gordian-but-delicate piece that should make even the most repressed trip the light fantastic. 'Codex' is gorgeous vintage piano and Thom Yorke musing despondency. This album's release may have been a surprise, but its brilliance certainly isn't.

Best Track –
'Codex'

My Movie Script Endings 2011

2011-02-26T16:37:00.001Z

Best Picture
Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The Kids Are All Right, The King's Speech, 127 Hours, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Winter's Bone
What should win? The Social Network
This is not a movie about Facebook. I mean, it is, obviously. But this is a movie about friendship, love, greed, youthfulness, jealousy, competition, arrogance, hierarchy. With Aaron Sorkin penning, high hopes were to be had, but no-one could have predicted the profound (and brilliantly-told) statements it made on the current social climate. More often than not, films made about today fail to actually reflect such, but this one couldn't have done it better.

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen (True Grit), David Fincher (The Social Network), Tom Hooper (The King's Speech), David O. Russell (The Fighter)
Who should win? David Fincher
If any film is going to dominate the night, it has to be The Social Network. The cuts between the legalities within the boardroom and the actual making of Facebook were played out fantastically. When you felt sorry for Zuckerberg, he'd go and defame his best friend. By the end, the audience were divided over who to root for. The first and last scenes total all that is needed to be said, and there's not one unnecessary sequence in between. A* for David Fincher.

Best Actor
Javier Bardem (Biutiful), Jeff Bridges (True Grit), Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network), Colin Firth (The King's Speech), James Franco (127 Hours)
Who should win? Javier Bardem
Yes, the movie is almost three hours long and is by no means a laugh-fest in the name of Bill Hicks. However, Mr Bardem may well be the best actor in Hollywood. If not at least in Spain. His role as cancer-ridden single-father Uxbal was portrayed with nothing but heart-wrenching emotional sincerity. The movie was good, but what a performance. If No Country's Anton was Bardem's sort-of Travis Bickle, this one is his raging bull.

Best Actress
Annette Bening (The Kids Are All Right), Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole), Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone), Natalie Portman (Black Swan), Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)
Who should win? Natalie Portman
Where to begin? Portman herself has admitted that for a while this film took over her life. The dark paranoia embedded within the psyche of her ballerina Nina needed an inviolable take to pull off, as the actress proved herself to be one of the finest of her generation. Sadly, she's now in a rom-com opposite Ashton Kutcher. This we can forgive her for, her outing in Black Swan being so substantial. The pardoning ends here, though.

All Is Forgiven

2011-02-12T23:28:00.002Z

DL –
Engineers 'Forgiveness'

Just Shut It Down

2011-02-06T01:00:00.002Z

I'm not saying I don't want Michael and Holly to be together. Of course I do. But the way in which it was finally played out - she almost channelling his mind while he's lost in Scranton because Jim left him at a gas station - was atrocious. Idealistic and unconvincing. The US Office was at one point very funny and ep-after-ep gold. Now, we're lucky to get one decent story every few instalments. NBC won't end it 'cause they're desperate. Carell is right to exit. Somebody, please, finish this show pronto.

DL –
Kubichek! 'Just Shut It Down'

Why Does Ribena Apple Juice Always Taste Like It Has Ribena In It?

2011-02-05T16:36:00.003Z

DL –
The Strokes 'Juicebox'

Why Didn't No-One Ever Tell Me About Black Coffee*?

2011-02-02T16:11:00.004Z

*Only with not much coffee and lots of hot water, so you can't actually taste the icky caffeine.

DL –
Fall Out Boy '(Coffee's For Closers)'

Album Of Last Month

2011-02-01T00:00:00.000Z

White Lies 'Ritual' (Fiction)

Whatever it was Editors were trying with their last 'industrial' record, it did not total a job well done. And Interpol, following the exit of bassman Carlos, they've seemingly lost all reason and their black charm. Ergo, the space of depressingly feel-good indie needs a big front to fill it - meet White Lies II. On their second LP, the white-picket-fence threesome are, well, kinda the same, only a bit less mousy with their amps. 'Bigger Than Us' was the swift-and-mighty single, but there's the poppy, Cure-like 'Peace & Quiet' and the deliciously broody 'Turn The Bells' to master all domains. Yes, affable. And yes, aces.

Best Track –
'Peace & Quiet'

What Went Wrong?

2011-01-30T21:46:00.004Z

Patronising script. Kids that can't act. Misguided cheese. Clint Eastwood helmed Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby, Changeling. What went wrong? Not to mention the fact it took 100 minutes to get going. Embarrassingly Hollywood. Not to also mention the fact it believed in a hereafter. Appalling.

DL –
Blink-182 'What Went Wrong?'

So Bad

2011-01-30T02:29:00.005Z

"Blink and you'll miss it, but it's just a little thanks to Steve Carell." No. No. No. Is Ricky Gervais not even wise to the legacy of his own David Brent? Does he not recognise that The Office was so perfect, nothing else from Britain will remotely compare in your and I's lifetime? And it wasn't even classy. We got a too-staged "That's what she said" AND a needless drawn-out hug. Not funny. Just wrong.

DL –
Eminem 'So Bad'

Brilliant... If You'll Pardon The Pun

2011-01-30T01:22:00.003Z

Matt Lucas and David Walliams really are brilliant. A few Daffyd sketches too many sadly marred their rep, but after six eps of Come Fly With Me - chiefly Little Britain in an airport only featuring fresh and as-knee-slapping funny personas - it's just unreasonable not to commend their artistry. You get me?

DL –
Foo Fighters 'Learn To Fly'

There's No Such Thing As Too Much Mayo

2011-01-25T15:32:00.003Z

DL –
Smashing Pumpkins 'Mayonaise'

Happy Alone

2011-01-23T00:28:00.007Z

I heart Dimitar Berbatov. There are some United players who when they score, I experience a bigger rush than I do for others. Alongside Dimi, the same currently goes for Wayne Rooney - goals are the only thing he's lacking at the moment - and Michael Owen - he never gets to play enough. All of whom pretty much happen to be paid to find the net. The deal with Berba, though, is that only this season is he starting to show he can do it for a BIG club.

I'd be telling a lie if I said I've stuck by him all the way up till now. It was following his non-showing in a fatal 0-0 at Blackburn towards the end of last season when my patience started to lose its footing. Today, however, I want him in my starting lineup. He is at present the Premier League's top scorer by three and seems to be our best bet in attack. I've come to realise that in a perfect performance, he will frustrate, but he'll dispatch if supplied the service, too.

The main reason why my Dimi scoring reaction is the most thrilling, though, is that he cuts this loner, outsider role about him, which - being a loner, outsider myself - I quite connect with. He would so go to the cinema by himself. "One ticket for blah blah, please..." Wow, what a champ.

DL –
Kings of Leon 'Happy Alone'

D'Jew Eat?

2011-01-19T01:32:00.005Z

DL –
Bruce Springsteen 'Hungry Heart'

Jewrosis Defined

2011-01-16T23:31:00.004Z

Why teach the curriculum when you can just show children a Woody Allen film every school day? And if you run out of films, just repeat them.

DL –
Bob Dylan 'Song To Woody'

Next Big Thing For 2011 #5 - Young Buffalo

2011-01-05T00:00:00.003Z

Like Trophy Wife, Young Buffalo are from Oxford, only the one in Mississippi of the United States. Wikipedia will tell you that thriller author John Grisham has a home in the area, but otherwise there lies an opening for some sweet-ass straight-up indie rock to just burst at the city's seams. One of the best things about this trio is that they don't really look like a band. Another is that they're pretty effing great, as proven by free download 'Three Deep' and forthcoming debut single propa 'Catapilah'. With Kyle 'Slick' Johnson producing (he who engineered the latest Modest Mouse record), YB's first effort will fingers-crossed be one of 2011's most significant.

DL –
'Catapilah'

Next Big Thing For 2011 #4 - Guards

2011-01-04T00:00:00.003Z

What with the 2010 Arcade Fire had, don't be taken aback if countless baroque rock replicas come out of the woods all at once. It's the way of the business. But Guards, solely led by ex-Willowz leader Richie Follin, is worth taking seriously. And that's even if the Californian himself doesn't take the project all that seriously - there's no MySpace to fiddle with but merely a Bandcamp page, albeit with a free download of a seven-track self-titled debut EP. Of which 'I See It Coming' provokes those Fire parities, all gung-ho euphonies and zestful wordplay. Mmm, let's hope there's more.

DL –
'I See It Coming'

Next Big Thing For 2011 #3 - Grouplove

2011-01-03T00:00:00.004Z

Peppy indie-pop that sounds like it's been blessed by a double rainbow crops up merely once in a while, such as with 2007's debut Wombats album or last year's Two Door Cinema Club. Though the Los Angeles-based Grouplove are perhaps lower-maintenance - tossing in halo harmonies on the if-Bon Iver-dug-Madonna 'Naked Kids' - you can't help but emerge with the same yippy-yay-yoe sensation. And if their MySpace background isn't lying, a full-on EP is coming out in February. Traffic on the 101 will never be the same with these on the stereo.

DL –
'Colours'

Next Big Thing For 2011 #2 - Trophy Wife

2011-01-02T00:00:00.004Z

Some bands only sound like their contemporaries. But Trophy Wife, they actually used to live with theirs. In fact, drummer Kit Monteith went one even further and was educated at the same Oxford primary school as Foals' Yannis. And like Foals, there is a sensual moxie about their beat disco. Alongside Kit, we've singer-guitarsman Jody Prewett and keyboardist Ben Rimmer, plus a healthy preference for German 'lectro kings The Notwist. A debut record for this year might be asking a bit too much too soon, but a couple more Moshi singles wouldn't go a miss.

DL –
'Microlite'

Next Big Thing For 2011 #1 - Matthew And The Atlas

2011-01-01T00:00:00.008Z

If you're sick of the incalculable folk bands out there wolfing down all the airtime, you better find solace in some more Stanton Warriors, because, at least by Matthew And The Atlas' reckoning, this ain't even the start. Led by part-time landscape gardener Matthew Hegarty, these already sound like they're on their fourth album - and that's without even releasing their debut yet. Though they've supported the Masters of Nu-Folk Mumford & Sons on a good few occasions now, there's a duskier, thinner complexion to MATA's output. Logic would insist that said-debut is presently in development, and that it'll stop traffic, too.

DL –
'I Will Remain'

Albums Of 2010 - No. 5 to No. 1

2010-12-16T00:00:00.008Z

5. My Chemical Romance 'Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys' -
There are no black marching band uniforms. No Liza Minnelli backing vocals. And, just like their 2008 live album suggested, no more Black Parade. What this heartily points at, though, is standing up and standing together, all the while having fun. We already know how important MCR are to civilisation, but this only strengthens that further.

4. Vampire Weekend 'Contra' -
The trouble with assembling a great debut album is that ensuing the sell-out academy jaunts, afro-pop-enriching delirium and total sovereignty over untold end-of-year lists, the follow-up must be no less than equally significant. This so differs from 'Vampire Weekend' that it doesn't even feel like a sequel, yet it's so familiar that it just couldn't be anyone else. Squirrelly guitar lines and umpteen glitterati dissections of course, but this time they're even sweeter.

3. Mystery Jets 'Serotonin' -
Here, with the ex-Eel Pie Islanders' third effort, they've given credence to the concept of patience. Serenity may no longer be the poster boy for society, but these needed to make two albums to get to this place. And this is so glorious, it's golden nugget after golden nugget.

2. Arcade Fire 'The Suburbs' -
This, quite frankly, is crucial, and the great Arcade Fire record we've been lingering for all along. Plus, for such an exceptional piece of pop music, it's not even dribbling with the same unrestrained hope and impassion that garnered them those Grammy noms in the first place, but it works because husband Win Butler and wife Régine Chassagne are perpetually gushing out an insightful bedrock. The truth has never come so sweet.

1. The National 'High Violet' -
Indie's best-kept secret, The National are no more. 'High Violet', their fifth album unleashed at the beginning of summer, shifted 50-odd thou in its first week on sale and wounded up at number three in their home country's Billboard 200 ('Boxer', their fourth effort, peaked at number 68). They performed not one but three consecutive nights at London's Brixton Academy to conclude a remarkable year. And, in amongst the buzz surrounding a storming appearance at Glastonbury in June followed by a bill-topping set at Latitude Festival in July, for a moment it felt as if The National were the biggest band going. Still and all, such notoriety would be skewed if they didn't have the songs to back it up. "There are a lot of bands I hate that are massively popular," timorous frontman Matt Berninger once declared. Good thing 'High Violet' is the album of the year then, eh?
It doesn't take Dom Cobb to work out that bands just don't get five attempts to arrive anymore. If this Brooklyn five-piece, all originally from Cincinnati, Ohio, were only forming now, who knows if they would have even stuck around to forge 'High Violet'? But what this record does, one number of things it does, is remind the industry that musicians can indeed advance with age. And that with time comes rewards.
The National's self-titled first LP was released in 2001. So little of their sound then - sort of fuzzy alt.country - can be found within 'High Violet'. Maybe except for Berninger's attentive lyrics. Almost the same goes for 2003's 'Sad Songs For Dirty Lovers', but what did exist here was, well, possibility - the solemn '90-Mile Water Wall' and 'Lucky You' especially raised questions as to what came next. After quitting their day jobs and signing to English indie Beggars Banquet a couple years later, the splendid 'Alligator' was put out, and now this misty wordplay had a decorous maze of noise to show for it. But it was 2007's grand 'Boxer' that really upsized their cult, as such affable, stunning tumult made Josh Schwartz's iPod and assembled them R.E.M. support slots. There became a defined commotion to The National's output.
Thus, the anticipation for 'High Violet' was tall, at the very least. "At one point, the idea was to make a loose, scrappier, poppier record, whatever that meant. I think it is our most fun record. The lyrics go to some dark zones and dig into some uncomfortable things, but I think it's a lot of fun to sing about sorrow and fears and anxiety, and wallow in it a little bit," Berninger explained of the group's intent. It, too, is much fun to listen to songs of agitation. There's a telling about these in particular that render a real shot in the arm, just like 'Aligator' and 'Boxer', but this more expansive objective makes them all the more striking.
'Terrible Love' sets things in motion by way of steering semi-'87 U2 reverb around a crunchy, dogged riff. Berninger, perhaps surveying a loved one lose themselves in self-destruction, avows: "But I won't follow you into the rabbit hole; And I said I would but then I saw your skin and bones; They didn't want me to." This tale of potent desire sinks in all wistful. What a mighty way to start.
A little later, 'Afraid Of Everyone's indelible mellifluousness treks under a haunting, bashful wall of Tindersticks-type goodness. "Venom radio, venom television... I defend my family with my orange umbrella, I'm afraid of everyone; With my shiny new star-spangled tennis shoes on, I'm afraid of everyone," he shivers, via what is seemingly a dig at Western media's putative motive to coerce humankind into isolation. "I don't have the drugs to sort it out," one verse reruns. Because no substance is a remedy for this uncertain dismay.
It's in 'Bloodbuzz Ohio' - a lustrous thump of silvery determination - that Berninger's maturation in vocal is really evident, sapping any crumble of Leonard Cohen's also humble murmur.
'Lemonworld' - "Lay me on the table, put flowers in my mouth; And we can say that we invented a summer-lovin' torture party." - is a Wilco keys-ferried swash of categorical panorama. Like 'Fake Empire' of 'Boxer', Berninger asks you to forget all your troubles, suppose that the world is flawless, just "try to find something on this thing that means nothin'". 'Lemonworld' needs to be listened to on Hampstead Heath or somewhere, and in the June sunshine to boot.
See, there is no-one definitive hypothesis that 'High Violet' drives at, but more a collage of possibility and observation. Yet at the same time, it seems to run in the only order it should. If 'Afraid Of Everyone' casts you down, 'Lemonworld' is the perfect antitoxin.
'Conversation 16' takes after 'Lemonworld' in terms of its breezy resonance, but in actuality it's a story of a man, Berninger himself for all one knows, unwillingly going through life as a prototypical partner. "It's a Hollywood summer, you never believe the shitty thoughts I think; Meet our friends out for dinner... Try to hold it together 'til our friends are gone," yet he wants "to be more romantic" and "believe in everything you believe". Ultimately, however, he fears the ritual of everydaydom will confiscate his self until he turns into a stock-still zombie, the chorus running: "I was afraid I'd eat your brains, 'cause I'm evil."
And 'England' is probably the greatest National song, like, ever. Drop-dead piano, strings-hefty wallpaper, such glorious strains of grandeur; It's 'Heart Of Gold' for the 21st century. Further, it's quite typical of Berninger to have elected this track to be more foggy than ever on. It's the kind of tune you want to handle with kid gloves and not over-entertain.
The finale, 'Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks', is another heartwarmer. "Leave your home, change your name, live alone, eat your cake," he starts atop almost laughably glamorous soft rock that even Coldplay have yet to hew, possibly recapping Don Draper's rise to branding the Food Network. What 'Vanderlyle' (another brilliantly made-up National song title) apparently becomes, however, is an instruction that despite the ecstasy and innocence and concern and anxiety that's been spoken before and right here, that is wholly what existence is.
'High Violet' tows you in many directions throughout; some stirring, some antsy. But this gnawingly honest spread - via umpteen, classically wary lines and the forwardness of sound that this band are worthy of Olympic medals for - is what makes 2010 the year of The National. Knowing Berninger though, that means a whole lotta tension as well as elation. And a great sixth album, too.

Albums Of 2010 - No. 10 to No. 6

2010-12-14T00:00:00.009Z

10. Eminem 'Recovery' -
Production-wise it's not as glossy as it could be, but his PO'd intentness sorta overrides all that. Jeez, talk about a recovery.

9. Johnny Flynn 'Been Listening' -
He is one accomplished inspiration. And if this doesn't shift him to the fore by the sides of his nu-folk brethrens, nothing will.

8. Weezer 'Hurley' -
This really does have all the pop-punk, punk-pop'd flair of their early days - and why move forward when there's no-one in your way?

7. Everything Everything 'Man Alive' -
The debut album of the year goes to these Manchester-settled art rockers. Judging by the exotic blather found on here, these'll be around for a looong time.

6. Kings of Leon 'Come Around Sundown' -
Bearing in mind their productivity, one day they really will go back down South, but let's enjoy the anthemia while it lasts, eh?

Albums Of 2010 - No. 20 to No. 11

2010-12-12T00:00:00.000Z

20. The Sunshine Underground 'Nobody's Coming To Save You' -
The punk-funking may be relevant no more, but this is still so plausible.

19. Jimmy Eat World 'Invented' -
Probably their greatest stab since 'Futures', its classic sentimentality proves that JEW fans can still believe.

18. Darwin Deez 'Darwin Deez' -
A buoyant and snappy record that, yes, is ideal for the July sun but for a long time after that, too.

17. Two Door Cinema Club 'Tourist History' -
Who needs the uppishness of Ke$ha when we've this lot's sumptuous guitar disco jivin'?

16. The Walkmen 'Lisbon' -
One-song wonders no more! Well, sort of. This is certainly their best record, pretty much honing the Walkmen sound.

15. Kanye West 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy' -
By far his best album almost puts no feet wrong. There is a song for every soul.

14. Lostprophets 'The Betrayed' -
As brash and apocalyptic as ever, on their fourth LP they confirm that nobody rides the nu-hard-metal train better.

13. Chew Lips 'Unicorn' -
To put it frankly, these warrant more acknowledgement. If not their own Super Bowl commercial.

12. Mark Ronson 'Record Collection' -
What this displays is that we need him now as much as he needed The Zutons then.

11. Brandon Flowers 'Flamingo' -
The Killers frontman has sussed who he wants to be - and this is the finest way to celebrate.

Albums Of 2010 - No. 30 to No. 21

2010-12-10T00:00:00.012Z

30. The Courteeners 'Falcon' -
What went down I don't know, but there's way more to these than first signalled. Superb.

29. Jónsi 'Go' -
Sigur Rós' leading light turns out a stripped-down (for Sigur) endeavour. And it's all just as empowering.

28. The Drums 'The Drums' -
The year's most-hyped sign over the goods. Who said guitar pop was dead?

27. Kele 'The Boxer' -
Not as reformist as he perhaps intended and highly Bloc in parts. Still, main thing is it's out his system.

26. Foals 'Total Life Forever' -
Oxford's finest since you-know-who prove they really are one of the special ones. Emotional, man.

25. Manic Street Preachers 'Postcards From A Young Man' -
It's okay to still be angry at 40. Especially with the umpteen indie anthems on here.

24. Marina And The Diamonds 'The Family Jewels' -
It's hard to shine in today's gal pop town, but she's got the choons to do so brightly.

23. The Kissaway Trail 'Sleep Mountain' -
Denmark's soft rockers continue to give it their all - and by this shot there's no need to halt it.

22. Crystal Castles 'Crystal Castles II' -
They've found a way to make the same immense 'lectro-noise but with a reasoned MO. Yes indeed!

21. Sufjan Stevens 'The Age Of Adz' -
Mr Stevens, finally you fathomed the merits of less = more. His best record yet.

Albums Of 2010 - No. 40 to No. 31

2010-12-08T00:00:00.002Z

40. Klaxons 'Surfing The Void' -
Some all-out new rave monsters on here. But some horrors, too.

39. Laura Marling 'I Speak Because I Can' -
Queen of Nu-Folk still to bring home the bacon. Or a consistently great album.

38. We Are Scientists 'Barbara' -
Another solid attempt to prove that they're not just a comedy act.

37. Bombay Bicycle Club 'Flaws' -
Zane Lowe calls it his album of the year. I call it resplendent, but 'flawed' in parts.

36. Tokyo Police Club 'Champ' -
What've these gotta do to get some validation? Strong but overlooked.

35. MGMT 'Congratulations' -
Fuck the industry, sure. But at least put a single on the damn thing.

34. Kate Nash 'My Best Friend Is You' -
In a land devoid of GaGa, Florence, Ellie et al, this would rightly do wonders.

33. Warpaint 'The Fool' -
Calm down, hipsters. They're not that good. Couple out-and-out smashers, though.

32. Yeasayer 'Odd Blood' -
More coherent than they're first, the Brooklynites are prospering into something special.

31. Band Of Horses 'Infinite Arms' -
More coherent than they're first two, the Seattleites are prospering into something special.

Albums Of 2010 - No. 50 to No. 41

2010-12-06T00:00:00.010Z

50. Hot Chip 'One Life Stand' -
Album name better than album, but only just.

49. dan le sac Vs Scroobius Pip 'The Logic Of Chance' -
A sturdy return, at least for those who heard it.

48. To My Boy 'The Habitable Zone' -
Better, though that Mercury-nom-for-band-no-one-knows is still far off.

47. Interpol 'Interpol' -
If I think about what went wrong I might start crying.

46. Wintersleep 'New Inheritor' -
Fourth album syndrome decides on another victim.

45. Linkin Park 'A Thousand Suns' -
Self-gratifying, drawn-out and catchy as shit. Nothing new there, really.

44. The Xcerts 'Scatterbrain' -
Hits equal misses on a scratchier, angrier (and ignored) comeback.

43. Good Shoes 'Times Change' -
Just like the title suggests, times do change. And this was one relevant.

42. New Young Pony Club 'The Optimist' -
No need to double-take, that does say New Young Pony Club. Shockingly good effort.

41. Gorillaz 'Plastic Beach' -
Finally the songs to match the idea. Shame there's only two good songs, though.

Album Of Last Month

2010-12-01T00:00:00.003Z

My Chemical Romance 'Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys' (Reprise Records)

There are no black marching band uniforms. No Liza Minnelli backing vocals. And, just like their 2008 live album suggested, no more Black Parade. My Chemical Romance have a somewhat renaissance about them, and it's all at the mercy of fourth album 'Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys'. Of course, 'The Black Parade' was marvellous in transmogrifying the Jersey boys from very big emo band to very big rock band, however all-encompassing that may find you. But if 'Black Parade' was about restoring Freddie Mercury soprano and the weight of revenge-seeking perhaps only sought by Pink Floyd before them, 'Danger Days' is, like, THE NEXT LEVEL. There is a song with reportedly 266 'na's in it. The entire record, or concept, is set in 2019 California. And there's four such Fabulous Killjoys - Party Poison, Jet Star, Fun Ghoul and Kobra Kid - battling evil corporation Better Living Industries, all whilst being guided by radio DJ Dr Death Defying. Keep up and it's pretty straightforward - if MCR have become generic rock stars, they're the best bloody ones about.
A charming 30-second introduction from Dr Death Defying gets the tale on the road, before 'Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)'s blazing pace and irresistible uproar tremendously pushes the go button. "Everybody wants to change the world, everybody wants to change the world; But no-one, no-one wants to die," Gerard Way, aka Party Poison, recalls in a slight gesture to the last record's crux.
'SING', the album's second single proper, is one of those soppy-in-a-good-way numbers My Chem have become quite adept at, like 'The Ghost Of You' from 'Three Cheers' and 'I Don't Love You' from 'Parade'. On plodding guitars, Way chants: "For every time that they want to count you out, use your voice every single time you open up your mouth." It's exactly the kinda song this band are here for.
'Party Poison' picks up speed via some raspy, pummelling bass-work, while 'S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W' has the typa sentiment you'd find in a Jennifer Aniston rom-com. Yes, that does sound like a bad thing, but the impression of helplessness ("Love, love, love won't stop this bomb, bomb... Move your body when the sunlight dies, everybody hide") is too kosher to be hoity with.
The record's finest moment, though, lies with 'The Kids From Yesterday', but before that comes 'DESTROYA' - a cast-iron flick back to the MCR of 'I Brought You My Bullets', just hard-bitten unease and a perhaps jeering look at the still-primitive makeup of some of the West, Way spitting: "You don't believe in God, I don't believe in luck, they don't believe in us, but I believe we're the enemy."
And 'Kids', operating on a sweet, steadfast synthesiser, sees Way reflect: "All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate, they only care if you can bleed; Does the television make you feel the pills you ate? Or every person that you need to be." Bearing the MCR memo, take notice of yourself and yourself only - and heck, given the right hard-sell, this could be their biggest single to date.
Lastly, 'Vampire Money' closes things in a deliciously cynical manner - peeing on the 'Twilight' franchise and all vampires have become. Which is somewhat baffling, as most would pit MCR and 'Twilight' devotees together. Still, striking home like a scene from a virtuous 'Grease', Way rather funnily sources the '70s versions of Bowie and Bolan "in the morning sun" to wholly reject the notion of selling out (They were asked to soundtrack 'New Moon').
So, in case you missed it, not one Killjoy seems to have made it out alive. What 'Danger Days' heartily points at, however, is standing up and standing together, all the while having fun. We already know how important My Chemical Romance are to civilisation, but this only strengthens that further.

Best Track –
The Kids From Yesterday

Say "Astronaut" #20

2010-11-21T18:01:00.003Z

From 'The Fusilli Jerry' (S6E21)

DL –
Beirut 'Postcards From Italy'

It's Not Time To Celebrate

2010-11-15T16:09:00.004Z

New rule: Footballers when scoring goals should not be allowed to 'dance celebrate' unless they are a) a first team member; b) already up by two clear goals; and c) not already sporting brightly coloured boots. Footballers must adhere to a), b) and c). If either one is jeopardised, the footballer in question shall be dropped for the foreseeable future, regardless of the significance of their goal.

I fucking hate 'dance celebrations'. I mean, I fucking hate dancing - plus any form of jubilation showing for that matter - but there is little that makes me madder than seeing a footballer 'dance celebrate' a goal, a goal that really matters. An example of this was evident yesterday during Sunderland's highly impressive performance at Chelsea's Stamford Bridge. Asamoah Gyan had just strengthened Sunderland's lead to 2-0 - this is the same Sunderland who only 15 days ago were trounced 5-1 by Newcastle in a local derby.

Thus, Sunderland were not meant to be winning 2-0 against the champions. The fact that they were was just unthinkable, and so effing mindblowing that there most certainly should NOT have been any form of calculated celebratory affair post-Gyan's goal. But Gyan, who may positively respond to a) of my rule up the top but definitely not b) OR c), actually ran over to the corner flag and started some form of arms-motioning, leg-wiggling, slightly chicken dance happy dance. Er, like, who the fuck does he think he is and what the fuck was he doing?

Such an important and inconceivable goal should only be celebrated by running like a madman at the utter inconceivability of it all! How could he be so calculated? This only goes to further show how far removed these millionaire footballers are from their very own fans. It is disrespectful to the club's own ambitions to even compute such a dance celebration in the vital time that it occurred in. If I was Steve Bruce, Gyan would be dropped for the next three games. Because you can bet your ass the fans weren't performing any kind of robotic, celebratory movement after seeing their mid-table team run Chelsea riot.

My own team's own captain Nemanja Vidic knows how to celebrate the magnitude of this type of goal. On Saturday, he very much screamed like a screwball and ran into the United fans with utter stupefaction, no calculation, after equalising a 2-0 loss away to Villa in the 86th minute. So there is some hope.

But world football morons, unless you stick to the three directives I stated at the start, you'll never ever gain my or, I'd like to think, most fans' respect. But perhaps you just don't give a damn, hence the dance celebrations in the first place.

Album Of Last Month

2010-11-01T00:00:00.003Z

Kings of Leon 'Come Around Sundown' (RCA)

Five albums in seven years is quite the undertaking when you take account of the three-year sabbaticals that the only-slightly-bigger Coldplay and Radiohead and U2 settle down to. But Kings of Leon work hard, maaaaan. Not to suggest that Bono doesn't crunch the numbers of a layered vocal in between saving Haiti and pulling up the Chile miners' rescue rope. But there's seemingly a work ethic lodged inside the Followill cerebrum which no other in the past decade has exhibited. And that means proper studio albums, Ryan Adams. Whether or not they've bettered themselves with each and every effort is only a little bit questionable, yet what isn't is the fantastically stomped-up heartiness rammed within each. And 'Come Around Sundown' really is no different, either.
Opener 'The End' (really not as witty as they think, I know) has a bass line which coulda been knocked off of 'Aha Shake Heartbreak', with its steeliness gingerlying around Caleb's semi-brawny whine. It's mellow for the album's anthemia, but that in itself displays the musical march these've gone on since 2004's 'Heartbreak' - and especially 2003's 'Youth and Young Manhood'.
'Radioactive' is actually effing brilliant once you get that video outta your head. Driving headfirst into its pre-chorus chorus (38 seconds to be exact) is undoubtedly the kinda technique Simon Cowell might be utilising upon The X Factor Winner's Song right this minute, though that - and its fuzzy Fender-picking and own glee club - doesn't make it wrong. Kings of Leon aren't likely to have spent their days recording this in NY pondering over that exact notion. Such indie craftsmanship is entirely unprocessed, and fool whoever hasn't seen it coming.
And if that was mighty, wait for 'Pyro' and 'Mary' and 'The Face', the latter wistfully working its loud bangs and pop'd cherry guitars about Caleb's yowlier-than-ever squeal. "I like your point of views so don't you shy away, riiiiiide out the wave," he (perhaps) asks his fiancee re the perils of fame. It is quite possibly this record's 'Use Somebody'.
Plus, if they hadn't been recording on the East Coast's capital, such a homecoming track as 'Back Down South' may not even be in existence. "When you see the lights and we hear the fights, it's gonna be a stunner; I've got something here if you give me one more beer, I'm gonna call a runner." Not only should this be the Tennessee state anthem, but the local airport would do well airing it in the arrivals' lounge at least 20 times a day.
'Birthday', meanwhile, carries on the LP's jumbo nature, all Edge effects pedals and festival refrains. And 'Pickup Truck', the real 'End', is precisely the hill-sitting reflecter it should be.
See, 'Come Around Sundown' is the kind of album Kings of Leon have been motioning toward - and there's very little fat to boot. What Caleb is bereft of in wordplay, they make up for in family-size indie pop strains. Bearing in mind their productivity, one day they really will go back down South, but let's enjoy the anthemia while it lasts, eh?

Best Track –
The Face

It's Not Over, So Sorry

2010-10-22T15:03:00.004Z

In all my 19 years as a football fan, never have I witnessed anything like this. And in all Wayne Rooney's 24 years on this planet, perhaps he's never really grown up. Yes, he's a wife and kid and possesses his very own Prestbury mansion complete with neo-Georgian pillars. But at 18 he wasn't revising for his A levels, prepping up to visit the Taj Mahal on a gap-year or labouring down the local KFC. He was penning a multi-million pound deal with the biggest football club in the world. Then married his six-year sweetheart at 22 and had a kid before the next Christmas. Rather than mature his character, it could be that fast-forwarding his life to such a level, all the while being led by his agent Paul Stretford, has left him somewhat lost and confused, hence the committing adultery, poor form at the World Cup and almost leaving the club he said he never would.

He's a rash personality, anyway. The statement he made on Wednesday evening, released though his 'people' two hours before United's next match, plainly did more harm than good. To question his teammates, Sir Alex's ability and, ahem, the ambition of a side who just over a year ago were lifting their eleventh Premier League title (three of which with him), it was rude beyond belief. There really was no way back. Even today, he said: "As a player here at United I care for the club. I had some concerns and I made the manager and David Gill aware of that... I've spoken with the manager, David Gill and the owners and all of them have confirmed to me that this is the right club for me to be at, and that this club is going to continue to be successful and win things." Well, if he cared that much he wouldn't have even contemplated exiting. And why does he even need it "confirmed" that Manchester United is where he should be?

Still, he hasn't left. He's decided to stay. Which, pretty frankly, is a massive gain for United. "The manager quite openly made it clear that the door was still open and that he still wanted me to sign. That's when I spoke to my agent and said, 'Let's go in and sit down with them and try to resolve it and try and get the deal down'." This maybe is the bit in Wayne Rooney's life where he truly finds his inner being, deciding to ignore whatever it was Stretford was suggesting to him. No way am I forgiving Wayne for disrespecting my team and fellow supporters the way he did, but it could be that he was just too callow before, and now he's, well, grown up. As SAF reflected: "I always feel it's a quality in a person to say he's sorry. I admire that in people." The Rooney of earlier this week may never have apologised.

Joining Manchester United wasn't the best decision Wayne Rooney ever made. Staying is. Now, when he returns to action - quite possibly against Manchester City on November 10 - let's hope he has the season of his life. Because if he does, I know I'll be cheering.

DL –
Klaxons 'It's Not Over Yet'

So Sorry, It's Over

2010-10-20T01:34:00.004Z

"Rooney can be the best in the world at 25 if he knows you need to train hard, go to bed early and be careful with what you eat. But he could also be out of the best teams, out of England, out of the best 100 players. Completely out... The last time I saw him I wanted to say it but I saw him only quickly." What if Eric Cantona did say it to him? What if one of the most rousing players to have ever called Old Trafford 'home' saw Wayne Rooney for a good few minutes and advised him on how to become a true great just like him? But those questions are merely rhetorical now, because Rooney - the man formerly known to United fans as "the white Pelé" - is about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

So why, then? Why does Wayne - who's wife has seemingly taken him back in spite of reports that he cheated on her with a prostitute, is a popular figure amongst the United/England setups and already has enough millions to score each Chile miner X Factor final tickets directly behind the judges' table - want to leave the club that has given him so much love and so many trophies? This was the one question left over from Sir Alex Ferguson's press briefing today, as he himself could only muster: "I was dumbfounded, I couldn't understand it at all because only months before he'd said he was at the biggest club in the world and he wanted to stay for life. We just don't know what's changed the boy's mind." And despite SAF's dismissal of a fallout between the two, surely only a WWE-style tug o' war could lead the striker to exit.

That quote from King Eric, which was said in February 2006, speaks of demands Rooney has outwardly ignored in recent months. Photographed smoking and drinking on the pavements of Manchester's city centre, alongside the rumours of infidelity while Coleen was pregnant, these do not smack of a man chewing over how to become the best at the game. Perhaps during George Best's 1960s they do, but Wayne's old pal and the teetotal Cristiano Ronaldo isn't just the world's best because he relies on natural ability. Thus, rather than feature in the best teams or the best 100 players, Rooney isn't likely to give up past habits should he move in elsewhere. Not without Sir Alex looking after him, anyway.

So where will home be, then? As a slightly-more-than-diehard Utd devotee, I'm not sure I even care. If he wants to leave my team, he can take the first flight, train, bus or tram. First being the January transfer window, of course. Until then, I say let's not even play him. Not unless he's willing to come out and explain his reasoning for spitting the fans' wholehearted love back in their now-confused faces. And, sure, I'd rather he go anywhere than relocate across the city, just as the bookies are predicting he will. The daunting thing is, if he's so stupid as to wish to depart Old Trafford, who's to say he couldn't go one further and join big fish Carlos in small pond Eastlands?

Which leaves United where, exactly? Well, such was asked after the eliminations of Ince, Hughes, Kanchelskis, Beckham, van Nistelrooy, Keane, Stam and maybe a few more. But we lived on, going on to win literally everything under the sun, in fact. It may seem different, or worse even, this time around simply because Wayne Rooney - when in form - is by far the side's second-most valuable asset... Who's the first, you ask? How about the same gent who's seen it all before, won 35 trophies in 24 years this November and has every single right-minded United fan's faith in him? Plus, if anything, this more expansive challenge, perhaps his biggest yet, will only increase Sir Alex's hunger further.

Like everyone else, I can't believe Wayne Rooney is leaving Manchester United. Not one bit of this makes any sense. He may well be off to deepen his pockets either across town or on the continent, but never again will he repeat the glory he experienced in his years at Old Trafford. "Wayne can go on to achieve unbelievable things, he's got so much talent," once declared Paul Gascoigne. Remember him?

DL –
Blink-182 'So Sorry, It's Over'

Say "Astronaut" #19

2010-10-10T22:24:00.003Z

From 'The Chinese Woman' (S6E4)

DL –
Vampire Weekend 'Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa'

New Folks

2010-10-07T00:00:00.000Z

Other than Mumford & Sons taking advantage of their deserved-but-sorta-too-soon great popularity by playing a one-hour, forty-minute set, something else happened at Manchester Apollo the other night. Matthew And The Atlas are their name, and they came first in the support slots before the also wonderful Johnny Flynn.

Like Bon Iver and like Band of Horses and like the sane bits of Sufjan Stevens but not like Wild Beasts 'cause they suck and even like Mumford, they're more folk'd up than a too-friendly Facebook friend. The tracks I've found kicking their sneaks around the web are all pretty pretty, though 'Deadwood' is more gorgeous than any.

It may be because I've now turned the old age of 24, but I do think there are way too many bands out there at the moment. Matthew And The Atlas, however, better not go away.

DL –
Matthew And The Atlas 'Deadwood'

So Long, My Mumford

2010-10-03T17:45:00.005Z

Mumford & Sons' debut album was exceptional. Shout And Twist's most-favourite from last year, in fact. And boy have they had the deserved adulation to revel in, too. But last night, watching them at Manchester's intimate-for-its-size Apollo, though they were brilliant in their performance, they played for a whole hour and forty minutes. We had some B-sides, four new songs, a few attempts at stand-up, an old old song or two. Personally, I think it's the result of modernity fast-forwarding bands to superstardom before they even, quite frankly, earn it. Yes, they are rightly one of the biggest and best-loved groups in the UK, but does that justify such a long show? Would Coldplay have played that long a set while touring 'Parachutes' in 2000/2001? I just don't think they would. If I'm wrong, I take it all back. And believe me, I looove M&S, I'm just writing this 'cause I care.

Don't Go Away

2010-10-02T16:46:00.004Z

A crisis, this I don't think is. I mean, it's not May and we're not on the threshold of taking the title, or the UCL, or the FA Cup or whatever. It is October. But four points from our first four away games is, quite frankly, disastrous. And the issues that were suffocating us in the first two - literally throwing away three points in the 90th minute - were defensive. But today, today we couldn't even get our attack right. We had two, maybe three, relatively good chances, but nothing, absolutely nothing, came from them.

It could be argued that Dimitar Berbatov's incredible hatrick against Liverpool was the worst thing to happen to him - now the expectancy put upon him is higher than ever, but since, in the three games he's been involved in, he's done zip. It's hard to say whether Rooney would have made a difference today. I think it'll be a long time before we see his best again, but we will see it. And Owen, who got another rare start to show the kind of impact he can have, just didn't make anything of it. Hernandez, after coming on and scoring that brilliant goal in the week, perhaps should have started today, but one can only say that in hindsight. Nani still only shows glimpses of real United-worthy talent, while Macheda, I really can't see what the big deal is - he's not shown anything substantial to indicate he can do what he did against Villa two seasons ago now on a weekly basis. And at Manchester United, that's what you're meant to do.

The only fruitful thing to say about our horrendous away form is that it is early season. And even if Chelsea do win tomorrow, they're not miles and miles ahead of us. But will we still win it all? Of course we will, we're Manchester United.

DL –
Oasis 'Don't Go Away'

Albums Of Last Month

2010-10-01T00:00:00.003Z

Brandon Flowers 'Flamingo' (Island)

Brandon Flowers sure gets a lot of slack for one who bestowed us with two of the mightiest indie anthems from the past six years. Plainly, said-anthems have polluted our gray matters to the point where we might have to Perry Smith a country family at the glimpse of them again. And yes, there is the believing-in-Mormonism factor. But really, his The Killers have still churned out two highly passable endeavours following 2004's unerring 'Hot Fuss', human, dancer or a cross-breed of the two. So why he's determined to set out upon the solo dominion is open to debate, you only need to drop in on Robbie's rehab sittings to suss the viable side-effects. Yet meet 'Flamingo' - and it's here where we'll have to do away with you hoity-toity, anti-aspiring sorts - because this is BIG refrains and devout slushiness and pop-affable hooks and, like, really good.
Of course we encounter an incoming, flickering buzz of suspense to set things in motion, before 'Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas' - where "the house will always win" - powers into its march through adamant guitars and an indelible chorus. "Cameras on the ceiling tile, no place for you to hide; It's a hundred seven and you're looking for shade; That no palm tree can provide," Flowers howls of his hometown, downright ashamed by the degeneracy that helms the city's survival. Never has his bashfulness about Vegas been so apparent.
'Only The Young' - a keys-vesseled parade founded by a climate of near-hymning - speaks further on man's quest to be 'good'. "Nothing is easy, nothing is sacred, why? Where did the bow break?... Are you looking for a sign? Or are you caught up in a lie?" He's surely inquisitive, but of who? Possibly those in the Vegas houses, as Flowers too all but guides the next crop elsewhere with the line, "Only the young can break away".
It's in 'Playing With Fire' where a recognition of other notions bares itself - and, atop a warm, absorbing backdrop, finally 'Flamingo' appears not so sententious. "Perhaps his calling is the channel of invention, I will not blush if others see it as a crime... This church of mine may not be recognised by steeple, that doesn't mean that I will walk without a god," he tells, confirming his trust in one Joseph Smith, but recognising the outside's interpretation all the same. Previously, Flowers has struck home a tad preachy, yet he'd be so much less of a soul if he didn't once perceive the doubt in his own doctrine.
'Was It Something I Said?' lifts the temper up with a zippy beat and '75 Springsteen invigoration, though this motif of uncertainty won't go away. Flowers belts about a couple ready to wed on the Vegas strip, until "there was something gone... I hear church bells ringing in my head and I take them everywhere I go; Valentina met a dealer and I hear they had a baby five months ago", maybe suggesting that it was faith that was "gone" for Valentina. 'Heading down Tropicana' and 'getting a job at the Nugget', he continues to point out the haunts of Las Vegas, and in 'On The Floor', his distaste in its customs is on show again. "When the lights go down in the city something is roaring, I find myself waiting to believe; On the floor where the mice call shots, that's where I'll be... on my knees begging please." Joined by restful, tender piano and eventually a choir, Flowers seemingly prays for his fatherland to return from the Sin City it has become. A promo for Vegas tourism this is not.
You've no doubt heard 'Crossfire's bodacious thump all over everywhere of late, but there's no dismissing its sheer pop empathy, notably that gooey guitar solo which steals the close.
And 'Swallow It' at first looks like an odd choice to close the album, the tune itself not as noteworthy as what's come prior. Then Flowers calls: "Take your medicine and crawl before you walk, think it through before you open your mouth to talk; Be an advocate of joy, find your little heart's desire and follow it." This medicine we're asked to swallow could be worship, it could be truth - but it's a fitting finale because of its missive to take one's time and wander the trail one knows one should.
So, where does this all leave us? Well, if it wasn't clear before as to why a Brandon Flowers solo album exists, it sure as shootin' is now. You know those TV adverts that ask for a few £s a month to aid what they show are damaged, hard-up kids when you'd most likely be abetting right little brats? 'Flamingo' is nearly like that, only the damaged kids that yank at your heart in the ads are synth-pop'd gobbets of prowess, and the brats are holier-than-thou tactics to market, well, religion. Flowers's faith in you-know-what is self-evident, but he's still conscious of contrasting outlooks (see 'Playing With Fire' and hence the "nearly"). Plus he's not trying to sell what he's convinced of, but more confirm his own dogma - and it's that which is why this record is alive. And wouldn't it just be unchristian to cold-shoulder these tracks solely for their standpoints? Brandon Flowers has sussed who he wants to be - and 'Flamingo' is the finest way to celebrate.

Best Track –
Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas

Weezer 'Hurley' (Epitaph)

The thing with the last three Weezer records ('Make Believe', 'Weezer' and 'Raditude') is that upon their first listen, one comes away feeling like the LA alt.legends have retorted to their former glory. Of course, only later were it the lead singles ('Beverly Hills, 'Pork And Beans' and '(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To') and a handful of others that exhibited any kind of resurgence. 'Hurley', however, named after the 'Lost' character of the same name - with darnright fantastic added face cover art to boot - is quite actually the nearest thing to the power-punk of 2002's 'Maladroit' since, well, 'Maladroit'. Here exists not only the cute nature of 'Island In The Sun', but also the wholesale guitar fathom of 'Keep Fishin'.
And 'Memories' is the most prudent way to get off the ground for any record, let alone this one. Almost like an antidote to Arcade Fire's whole don't-go-back-to-suburbia shtick, we're left screeching, "All the memories make me want to go back there," upon rock-ribbed energy chords and an as-zipping bass line. Rivers Cuomo, who's been uncomfortably affable of late, sings without an inkling that he's really not that much younger than your dad, too. 'Ruling Me' continues the happy-go-lucky dulcety, while 'Trainwrecks' is THE Weezer song - heck, anthem - of Weezer anthems. We're talking a leadoff hymn followed by a clobbering Fender-pluck followed by Cuomo chiming in, "We sleep all day and rock the night, we just get up to start another fight, we kiss and then we bite, we are traaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinwreeeeeeecks." Is he ragging on the grievous hoodies the West has come to known or chanting highly of his own alternative kingdom? You know, it's kind of hard to tell. But as the song - sorry, anthem - soldiers on into an all-out declaration of such dogma (whatever such may be), it's hard not lining 'Trainwrecks' up next to 'Buddy Holl', 'Undone - The Sweater Song', 'Say It Ain't So', et al. Yes, for real.
Those scouting around for Weezer's pulpier side will find soothe in 'Unspoken' and album ender 'Time Flies'. And though 'Run Away' jump-starts all gooey ("I thought you would always be my friend, now everything must end; And so the world moves on, and everything must change," Rivers whooshes with only an old-sounding piano for company), it takes to the air by virtue of a fearsome 'n' crunchy riff'd raw of a broken-love song. The Harvard grad has never been one for weighty libretto (despite his degree in English), but there's something charmingly straight about, "Sometimes I wish I was a house at the end of the block, you could smash all my windows with the throw of a rock." All this might come across a bit pensive if it wasn't for 'Hang On', which comes next and is high on ragged pop harmonies and one last yearning for romance. "Someday I'll be coming for you, you know what I'm wanting to do; I know the words to say to draw you in so close to me," could register a little freaky, but then it is the Ruler of Madcapness behind it.
The reality that this is Weezer's first venture since leaving Geffen for indie Epitaph might go some way to explaining their picking-up-where-'Maladroit'-left-off, much like Radiohead after departing EMI for XL. This really does have all the pop-punk, punk-pop'd flair of their early days - and why move forward when there's no-one in your way?

Best Track –
Trainwrecks

Mark Ronson 'Record Collection' (Columbia)

Mark Ronson seems like a nice guy. In interviews, on TV, on the radio, he comes across funny, astute and also cutely bashful by his own self-consciousness. But he only has himself to accuse for the 'KILL MARK RONSON' propaganda that has branded the Shoreditch kids' tees in the last few. I mean, he did make a second album refashioning/kiboshing/transmogrifying some of the worthiest numbers from the past decade or so. Yes, Amy Winehouse meowed the heck outta 'Valerie', but he further touched up The Smiths, Coldplay and Radiohead... Like, how dare he? Yet surely Ronson was very much mindful of the to-do that potentially followed, that beneath the Brit Award and double-platinum sales disc would be an incessant wrathful gawk from the other side of the room, asking: 'Who is exactly are you and what have you done with my Morrissey?' Or maybe it was his duty all along to piss us real music fans off and then switch via a new album, not charged with others' ideas, but honest-to-goodness, intriguing creativeness, leading to an expression of regret from the ones that snubbed his initial coming-out party. If so, then I'm sorry Mr Ronson. 'Record Collection' is, like, holla good.
It is actually he and his Business Intl (no, not International) who have tailored this all together. In fact, you could very well, much like on 'Versions', go deep inside this record and wonder, 'But what does Mark Ronson actually do?' "I'm producing every song. On a couple I'm singing and I'm playing the guitar or keys on every song. There's certain songs where I wrote all the music and Jonathan Pierce (of the The Drums-fame) just wrote the lyrics," he said recently, confirming that if there was ever a clarification needed for 'music producer', he is most positively it.
And lead single 'Bang Bang Bang' is about the best place to start. Featuring the wordplay of Queens rapper Q-Tip ("We're never gonna believe in the stories that you're weavin', we're believin' in the proof, we're believin' in the truth") and the lesser-known Amanda Warner's vocals from synthpop duo MNDR, one can't help but sway to the peppy, feel-good throbs and thrashes pounding off into the sun. Sure, it's enough already with the '80s, but not before this leaked out.
The too-short 'Lose It (In The End)' has a horn 'n' whistle-fuelled fuzziness to it that coulda dripped off the last Kaiser Chiefs record, while some societal divergence on, well, heartbreak lobbies atop. "I know what way to go when it comes to the ladies... I'm still picking them crazies, you wanna battle a court, like Kim and Slim Shady," raps Ghostface Killah (he of Staten Island). "Yeah, I said too much again; Yeah, I pushed too hard again; And I wanna start but when? I always lose it in the end," sings Alex Greenwald (he of Phantom Planet, they of 'California', which of 'The O.C.'). It's an enchanting disparity Ronson has cast here, and as significant as it is fun to listen to.
'The Bike Song', however, now seems like a weak second single bearing in mind what else there is to choose from, such as 'You Gave Me Nothing' - a klaxon-muscling whish-whash of pop resulting from a Calvin Harris dominion. In sooth, it's like a less galling version of that Harris and Dizzee track last year, only with ex-Pipette Rose Dougall and Miike Snow's leader Andrew Wyatt holding down the fort.
Even the instrumentals - and there are about four of 'em - are righteous movements in their own right. The indelible bleepmospheric jungle of the 4 mins, 24 secs 'Circuit Breaker' especially.
And 'The Night Last Night', marking the finale, is where the disco slows down - although only slightly, as Greenwald and Dougall take it in turns to sing all sweet-tempered upon dreamy landscapes like nothing else could close this album.
So see, what Mark Ronson has displayed over these 14 tracks is that we need him now as much as he needed The Zutons then. The man plainly has one of the best tastes in music, in music, and, as 'Record Collection' makes clear, some majorly talented allies to boot. Sure, those 'Version' apologists will eat this up no end. But so will the haters, too.

Best Track –
The Night Last Night

Say "Astronaut" #18

2010-09-28T00:12:00.003Z

From 'The Stranded' (S3E10)

DL –
The Cooper Temple Clause 'Waiting Game'

Empire State Of HBO

2010-09-21T12:59:00.005Z

This year I did something I never thought I'd do. And you know the craziest thing? I don't even regret doing it. Rather than keep you in suspense for another few sentences, I'm just gonna let it out there and say it. OK. Right. Here we go. This year I broke my 2007-born Watch-HBO-Only rule. But before you come at me with your venom, let me just say it was for an extremely worthy cause. 'Mad Men'. Exactly. One of the best shows ever and even well into its fourth season, there is absolutely no sight of it letting down. I will not, however, go to AMC for any more of their HBO rejections. Mad Men is where it starts and ends.

And now, thanks to the brilliance of former 'Sopranos' (and 'Sister, Sister' for that matter) writer Terence Winter, the network of networks is back. Back, back, back. Boardwalk Empire, if you've not already seen the MARTIN SCORSESE-directed first ep, it looks like it's about to retain HBO all the glory it found during 'The Sopranos' and 'SATC' and 'Six Feet Under'. 'True Blood' is a fantastic show, but it's become too distinct to paint the flag of the network. 'Boardwalk Empire' feels like 'The Sopranos', but there's a whole host of amazing new characters and stories to come.

Look, there's a lemon chicken and mayo sandwich with my name on it in about fifteen minutes' time. So I'm not about to go into some deeeeep piece parading 'Boardwalk Empire', though believe me when I say I would. But we've Steve Buscemi starring, Scorsese producing and directing, Winter creating, Michael Pitt starring (he who Kurt Cobain'd Gus Van Sant's 'Last Days' - I know it was blah for GVS, but Pitt was good), Michael Stuhlberg (the lead Jew from 'A Serious Man'), obviously loads of other fine actors, some incredible takes of 1920s Atlantic City and stories, much like 'The Sopranos', that are really not that hard to figure out once you're past the colloquialisms.

My sandwich is probably really cold now. But that's what microwaves are for. And your computer/TV/watching TV device, that's what 'Boardwalk Empire's for.

DL –
Jay-Z and Alicia Keys 'Empire State Of Mind'

Say "Astronaut" #17

2010-09-21T02:33:00.003Z

From 'The Calzone' (S7E20)

DL –
Bruce Springsteen 'Hungry Heart'

California Dreaming

2010-09-16T00:00:00.004Z

When I journeyed to Los Angeles in the summer of 2008, I didn't rent a car so had merely the city's bus service and some risibly comfy Adidas trainers to get around. One place I chanced upon was called Laurel Canyon, which I passed on my way to visiting the Hollywood sign. It's a very nice place I hope to return to one day, all peace-and-quiet, bushy trees, exactly the kind of area you'd anticipate a bloody murder to go down.

And according to Dawes' Wikipedia page, they're "part of the Laurel Canyon sound". These four-piece Cali dream-folkers only got going/noticed about a year or so ago, and they're still to make waves outside of their native land it seems. But listening to 'When My Time Comes', I actually kinda get this whole "Laurel Canyon sound" thing. Airy harmonies, a doughy aura, a sweet polyphony - Bon Iver in about three albums' time. And the song, oh man the song - it's so fucking good. I'm gonna go listen to their debut album 'North Hills' (named after where they're from I believe), but you? You go DL yourself 'When My Time Comes'.

DL –
Dawes 'When My Time Comes'

Simon Amstell Pretty Much Didn't Let Me Down!

2010-09-14T02:57:00.003Z

Simon: "I just wanna find some joy in my life."
Simon's mum: "Then be friends with James Cordon."

Look, I'm not suggesting for one New York minute that Simon Amstell's initial stab at sitcom-writing/starring, otherwise known as Grandma's House, was masterly. Or even that funny, for that matter. But all in all, taking every episode into account, on the whole, giving thought to every scene, generally speaking, it was, well, sort of funny.

Bits of it were atrocious, for sure. Simon's aunt's overacting. Simon's nephew's semi-acting. Simon's grandma's overacting... Though not Simon's acting, his deliciously antsy Jewrosis shtick was as endearing on telly as it is in his stand-up - and his life, no doubt, hence the stagecraft's persuasion. 'The British Larry David' is waaaaay undue a title, but there were modest hints of such irritable artistry honed within Grandma's House, at least to conclude, 'One day, maybe...'

The plots were mostly decent as well; Simon's almost-stepdad having once run over a tramp, Simon's nephew joking that he impregnated a schoolgirl, Simon smugging up to hide his nerves when meeting his biggest crush. It could have lost the making-up of band names and TV shows, even if the notion of Simon embarking on an African balloon expedition with Wyclef Jean for ITV2 is pretty rib-tickling... I just prefer my shows to be as true as can be.

"Is this what I am now? Some guy who used to be on TV who's now opening some media wing in Barkingside?" There were constant, scintillating castbacks to Amstell's post-Buzzcocks vocation, something which Grandma's House's six episodes should now have put paid to for real. The finale itself was perhaps its best episode, too. The scene in which Simon's almost-stepdad by and large attacked Simon in some alcohol-fuelled rage threw light on all that is needed to be said about the really-quite-shamefulness of British culture.

But see, we need Simon Amstell on telly. And though Grandma's House wasn't brilliant, there's enough there for BBC Two to make the right decision and recommission it (though it'll have to come back without the late Geoffrey Hutchings, aka Simon's grandpa). And it's still far more stimulating than most British comedy at this point in time, or even a long time. Plus practically every sitcom that's turned out to be great has always had a wobbly start. So yeah, a second six-parter would be just, but someone tell his family how to act...

DL –
The Streets 'Let's Push Things Forward'

Two Song Cinema Club

2010-09-13T03:09:00.004Z

Two days ago I watched a movie called Cyrus. It stars Jonah Hill (meh), John C. Reilly (meh) and Marisa Tomei (yum). For a comedy it wasn't very funny, it was alright at the most. I've also seen it described as a dramedy, which makes more sense but again, really no need for the "edy".

Couple things happened. One, a set of about eight youths stumbled into the cinema thinking they were about to get Step Brothers 2 after seeing both Reilly and Hill (I know he wasn't in Step Brothers but you know what I mean) attached to the cast. Thank fuck they didn't, and the eight youths left before the end. Like, who does that? To be fair both actors strutted the dramatic line pretty well, Hill so much I wanted to choke his fucked-up, evil character by the end. If I was one of those eight youths I probably wudda.

But the other thing, the reason I'm blogging this, was the soundtrack. Man, were there some beaus. Blind Pilot's 'I Buried A Bone' closed it and Charlie Wadhams' 'My Love' was somewhere in the middle. Both run that shmoochy acoustic track us sensitive types dig so much. DL 'em up below. Oh, Blind Pilot are the pic at the very top, Charlie's underneath. Obvs.

DL –
Blind Pilot 'I Buried A Bone'
Charlie Wadhams 'My Love'

Say "Astronaut" #16

2010-09-12T10:55:00.003Z

From 'The Soup Nazi' (S7E6)

DL –
Kate Nash 'Pumpkin Soup'

:-(

2010-09-10T01:09:00.003Z

Today marks the end of the greatest reality TV series ever. It was so far above anything else because of its testing of characters, acceptance of faults and just downright classic moments. The notion that millions of people would vote for a winner who's gay, Indian or suffers a mental disability, it's unmatched and I like to think in its own way has pushed forward society. Today really is a sad day. I know it'll get picked up again but I'd rather it not, those best bits will never be beaten.

DL –
My Chemical Romance 'The End.'

The King Of Indie Pop

2010-09-07T13:10:00.005Z

Brandon Flowers is a better hitmaker than Michael Jackson, but more on that next month (hint hint). Performing for Zane Lowe's radio show last night, he whipped out an acoustic rendition of Killers' 'When You Were Young'.

I don't have to tell you how phenomenal it sounded. Download, sit back, close your eyes, take it in. And your life will feel a hundred times better.

DL –
Brandon Flowers 'When You Were Young'

Dumb

2010-09-05T00:13:00.001Z

There may well exist a line between a football player and a man, but it's nowhere near as thick as it once was. Post-David Beckham, footballers are no longer footballers. Successful ones, anyway. They're now celebrities, responsible for a whole lot more than just ensuring their team picks up three points every week. John Terry lost the England captaincy over his private conduct, and since we've had Ashley Cole and Peter Crouch humiliating themselves via plots of the same adulterous theme.

And now ultimately the biggest of them all has come to pass. Last December whilst at Manchester United's Carrington training base, a photographer informed me that she'd witnessed Wayne Rooney frequent the city's Lowry Hotel with a prostitute on more than one occasion, as his then-pregnant wife remained at home. Given his imbecilic previous, I bought it, but with a slight sense of doubt in the hope that he'd matured. Ten months later, said-prostitute has sold her story to the Sunday Mirror - and there's no question as to how big this is.

Of course I want all the United members to love each other dearly and have joyous, unruffled family lives. But that wouldn't reflect reality. I do still think that most footballers, perhaps like most men, treat their loved ones with decency and respect. It's just that real villains like Terry, Cole, Crouch and now Rooney tarnish the perception.

"The lifestyle I lead as a footballer means I am always in the spotlight," Rooney said earlier this year. I mean, the inanity of his actions is almost amusing, but certainly not for the people he's hurt. Don't get me wrong, I'll cheer Wayne Rooney the goal scorer. But never ever the man.

DL –
Nirvana 'Dumb'

Album Of Last Month

2010-09-01T00:00:00.004Z

Arcade Fire 'The Suburbs' (Mercury)

Anybody who has ever suggested that Arcade Fire have made a 'great' album was lying. Lying to the world. Lying to whoever it was they were attempting to convince. Lying to themselves. Songs, yes. 'Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)', 'Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)' and 'Rebellion (Lies)' of 'Funeral' were illustrious each in their own spectacles. And 'Intervention' and 'No Cars Go' from 'Neon Bible' the same. But to allege that the Montreal seven-piece have actually fashioned a consistently end-to-end piece of baroque pop'd beauty is unjust. Until now, that is - Apologies for the cliché turnabout but it's so fucking true, nothing else would better justify the ruling.
Anything over 11, 12 tracks is more often than not a hamstring for the inventor (see under the too-stubborn Sufjan Stevens and Adam Green). Here, though, it just not once lets down, and if it does faintly veer off into a dicey alleyway by way of a steadfast-but-dreary riff (cough, 'Month Of May', cough - Oh, and whose lamebrain idea was it to hype the album with that? Talk about misrepresentation!), you know there's a cloying minute of resplendence right around the corner. 16 songs, p'haps for the first time since Blur's 'Parklife', seems about the perfect amount.
It too finishes where it commences, with that buoyed, abstruse line of "Sometimes I can't believe it, I'm moving past the feeling again" resonating like all the middle has been some unforgettable daydream. Plus, for such an exceptional piece of pop music, it's not even dribbling with the same unrestrained hope and impassion that garnered them those Grammy noms in the first place. It's the less-is-more approach that is 'The Suburbs's driving force, and the indistinct overtones within tracks like 'Ready To Start' and 'Suburban War' stuffing the horsepower. Of course the mettlesome nature is still there, but it works because husband Win Butler and wife Régine Chassagne are perpetually gushing out an insightful, sentimental and personal bedrock.
'Modern Man', for example, contemplates the confusion of modernity and that sometimes twitchy wait for the end. "How come you can't sleep at night? In line for a number but you don't understand," Butler declares of the unknowing, all the while there's an amicable drift of braiding noise thrilling below.
Naturally, the phenomenon of self-discovery is covered, as "the night tears us loose and in the half light we're free" in 'Half Light I', only "we knew this day would come, still it took us by surprise; In this town where I was born, I now see through a dead man's eyes," he casts back in 'Half Light II (No Celebration)'. This longing for youth and former memories comes both forlorn and familiar, as an all-out chorus of, "One day they will see it's long gone," carries heady keys and some semi-jungle rhythm. Jason Reitman could make a movie franchise out of 'Half Light' parts I and II alone.
'Suburban War' is the best of a brilliant bunch, however. It plays on the risk of recollection ("They keep erasing all the streets we grew up in") but ends with the maturation of finding one's own path ("You choose your side, I'll choose mine; All my old friends, they don't know me now").
One line in 'Month Of May' so characteristic of modern-day West goes, "Well, I know it's heavy, I know it ain't light; But how you gonna lift it with your arms folded tight?" It leaps out like a fitting dressing-down to the carefree do-nothings of society... You know who you are! Or you don't, that's kinda the point.
And 'Sprawl I (Flatland)' - a graceful, reflective build-up to its even-better sequel 'Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)' - is where you assume there to exist a happy ending. "Sometimes I wonder if the world's so small, that we can never get away from the sprawl, living in the sprawl; Dead shopping malls rise like mountains beyond mountains, and there's no end in sight, I need the darkness someone please cut the lights," trills Chassagne, aka old suburbia can be suffocating, but anything else is after all delusional. Depressing for sure, but about as real and ingenuous as they come.
'The Suburbs', quite frankly, is crucial, and the great Arcade Fire record we've been lingering for all along. The truth has never come so sweet...

Best Track –
Suburban War

Say "Astronaut" #15

2010-08-28T14:36:00.003Z

From 'The Couch' (S6E5)

DL –
Radiohead 'Sit Down, Stand Up (Snakes & Ladders)'

Say "Astronaut" #14

2010-08-21T02:50:00.003Z

From 'The Letter' (S3E21)

DL –
British Sea Power 'It Ended On An Oily Stage'

The Best Songs Ever Whenever Ever Is

2010-08-15T01:47:00.024Z

Some songs are so good they can make an entire album. Some songs are so good they can make an entire career. And some songs are so good they can feel like nothing has ever beaten or is ever likely to beat it. It is these which I've whittled down my iTunes to, the ten best songs ever whenever is. Songs that the first time you heard them you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing, and just for a second thought, 'You know what, this is the greatest song ever'. These are all so good, I still think that about a few of 'em...

10. Oasis 'Stand By Me' -
Yes, I am aware that this is not from Brother Gallaghers' first two efforts. But I'm not alleging that 'Be Here Now' is a better record (though it is still unfairly lambasted), I'm just saying that the anthemy and mountainousness lodged within 'Stand By Me' so rightly parallels Oasis' standing at the time - plus its name - it defines them more than any other.

9. Stereophonics 'Just Looking' -
When I first got into proper music, these were actually quite happening. And 'Just Looking' comes from their second album 'Performance And Cocktails', itself an unfailing piece of indie. But the track's stirring chords, singer Kelly Jones' honeyed croak, the constancy of discontent it possesses - it just couldn't not be included. Perfect.

8. Bloc Party 'Helicopter' -
Though this may be the second-most recent number in this list, it still seems like ages ago if you take into account Kele Okereke's solo outing. Time was, Bloc Party fizzled with gassy effects pedals and professionally amateur vocals, 'Helicopter' being the greatest example of such. Kele's denied it relating to George W. Bush, saying it's actually on him.

7. Muse 'Time Is Running Out' -
It's only fair that THE band of superlative stadium chorales get a mention, right? Just when I thought it was all downhill post-'Plug In Baby', they came out all-woolly-synths-blazing to tear up the nation. Well, embezzle near-unlawful play-time on MTV2, rather. The tearing up the nation came a couple records later.

6. Foo Fighters 'The Best Of You' -
The best revenge is thought by many to live well. Not Dave Grohl, however, who would prefer his ex to have 'someone take her faith', just like she him. It, too, opens first with a vocal, a ploy that works wonders when meeting its as-raw, forthright guitars. By the 37th play, I'll admit, I wavered, but it's still the best Foo Fighters song. Ever, ever, ever.

5. Morning Runner 'Burning Benches' -
I'm not sure I'll ever get over these splitting after just one LP - and a mighty brilliant LP at that. Yet I'll always have 'Burning Benches', the definition of sentimental. Sentimental obsession and love and heartache, that is. Sadly, Morning Runner may only be known in future for soundtracking hit-but-mostly-miss 'comedy' 'The Inbetweeners'.

4. Death Cab for Cutie 'Transatlanticism' -
Well, derrr. The first of two of DCfC's to feature, 'Transatlanticism's title track is, to call a spade a spade, the finest love song of them all. "I need you so much closer," Ben Gibbard recurrently murmurs atop drop-dead keys and a clobbering beat. And if you don't bawl for the distance, forget about that living thing.

3. Coldplay 'We Never Change' -
One of the most overlooked Coldplay gems - and there are a few - 'We Never Change' is, like, only the sweetest thing on 'Parachutes'. Chris Martin goes: "I wanna live life and always be true... I sin every single day." It's sincere by way of an acoustic-steered stripped-down ambience. Naive hope with an honest bullet. Or something.

2. Hope Of The States 'Enemies/Friends'-
Another uber-accomplished band who withered away in amongst all the relative hype, Sam Herlihy's men carried 'Enemies/Friends' like they were the forefathers of soft rock. But boy did they have rights to. It is one of the best pieces of music ever written in the history of man. Sorry, but it just is.

1. Death Cab for Cutie 'Tiny Vessels' -
I'm not even sure I can listen to this ever again. Not only because I've played it to utter death, but it's so confessional and so ingenuous and so ashamed, it's almost too much to bear. "I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking as we moved together in the dark, and all the friends that I was telling and all the playful misspellings and every bite I gave you left a mark." Gibbard uses 'Tiny Vessels' to lay it all out there, his regrets over the 'man' he once was and the empty promises he was making. He gets more heated and repentant as the tales of cheap sex and spurned love linger on, all the while there's a deep ocean of battering drums and trembling strings dispensing below. "Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me." About as bitter as they come, but about the best song ever whenever ever was or is.

Feeling Good

2010-08-13T00:00:00.000Z

I'll be honest. About two months ago, I was pretty worried. The dissenting undercurrent around Old Trafford every other week was being fuelled by an increasing mob of bandwagon-jumpers and those fundamentally foolish green and yellow scarves. We were effectively one fit Wayne Rooney away from not losing to Chelsea and Bayern Munich at home within four days and progressing further in the competitions that really matter, however concluded with merely the Carling Cup. And yes, we'd pre-brought in some unknown Mexican striker, who was at one point linked to going back out on loan, and Fulham's Chris Smalling, who spent the latter half of their Europa League final-making season on the bench, but that sense of longing for a fresh August... it just wasn't there. For the first time in four years, who knew where we headed?
But then something kinda special happened. Said-Mexican striker scored in the World Cup against France in a 2-0 win. And then he scored again, this time against Argentina. Mexico stumbled, but Hernández, or Chicharito, impressed. A week following the World Cup final, United started their pre-season tour of North America by beating Celtic 3-0, a game in which Berbatov and Tom Cleverly, who last year was Watford's player of the year, shined. Chicharito joined up a short while later, only to net in every single one of the friendlies he played, including against Chelsea in the Community Shield. Not since you-know-who in the summer of 2003 has their been this kind of buzz about a new signing. He, too, has a constant sweet smile spread across his face, channelling a confident, positive mood about him.
It's infectious as well. In fact, so much so that Nani and Valencia WILL improve on their decent second halves of last season, Van Der Sar/Scholes/Giggs/Neville WILL continue to defy age, Rafael/Fabio WILL learn how to defend, Rio/Hargreaves/Rooney WILL stay injury-free, Berbatov WILL have a great season... and I could go on and on. But there's a buoyancy about United now that wasn't there at the end of last season, I think - things are looking up.
When Kanchelskis, Ince and Hughes departed in 1995, in came Scholes, Beckham and Neville. And Beckham in 2003, Ronaldo. And Ronaldo in 2008, Chicharito? But really, there's only ever one man to look to, and that's the greatest boss of them all.

DL –
Muse 'Feeling Good'

Say "Astronaut" #13

2010-08-10T14:58:00.002Z

From 'The Kiss Hello' (S6E17)

DL –
The Cribs 'Hello? Oh...'

Great Expectation

2010-08-07T14:32:00.003Z

I will declare this and declare this only. Not since the summer of 2003 have I felt this kind of anticipation surrounding a new player. End of communiqué.

DL –
Tilly & The Wall 'Too Excited'

Please Simon Amstell, Never Let Me Down

2010-08-04T00:00:00.001Z

I LOVE Simon Amstell. So much so that I included him in my Top 10 Funniest Comedy-Types Ever last year. No. 9 he made. But if he is to venture up near the likes of Sacha Baron Cohen and Larry Charles, he needs no slips. No 'Extras'. No 'Date Night'. And no 'Green Green Grass'. Man, I really need to revise that list!

But still, Simon Amstell is yet to upset me. In fact, a part of me doesn't even wanna try his new BBC Two series 'Grandma's House'. A part of me wants Amstell retired now. I don't want to have to deal with the misery of seeing his artistic integrity compromised. He, above any apart from Sacha Baron Cohen, is the funniest funnyman in all of England.

So please Simon Amstell, please let 'Grandma's House' be your 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

DL –
Kanye West feat. Jay-Z 'Never Let Me Down'

The Greatest Macher?

2010-08-02T00:00:00.001Z

My people* are an apt people. But who's the greatest of them all? Listing off the contenders would just come across bumptious, but I will nominate a Robert Allen Zimmerman from Duluth, Minnesota for the title. There's 34 studio albums why, though obviously not all as prodigious as 'The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan' or 'The Times They Are a-Changin''. The track I am promoting, however, is from the former. Download, lie down, close your eyes and listen. And there's just no competition...

DL –
Bob Dylan 'Don't Think Twice, It's All Right'

*Needless to say when I say "my people", it is by proud label only. I am way too perceptive to believe in such a ludicrous hypothesis as religion. Derrr.

Album Of Last Month

2010-08-01T00:00:00.003Z

Mystery Jets 'Serotonin' (Rough Trade)

"Lunch is for wimps," uttered Michael Douglas in some late 80s movie about the abundance of big business. And all because Gordon Gekko was too busy. Too hard-pressed and eager to eat. And today, in a society in which we're not used to waiting around, there are probably more Gekkos than ever. No time for actual detail, just bitesized news via uber-speed net on our multi-zippy phones with speed dials for pre-packaged sandwiches delivered within seconds. And on which are playlists of songs, no filler, but pure golden nugget after the other. So thank fuck for Mystery Jets. Here, with their third effort 'Serotonin', they've given credence to the concept of patience - and the belief that it is actually possible to get better with age.
Opener 'Alice Springs' goes ahead with an unhurried aerospace of comeliness, its swishing keys transiting singer Blaine Harrison's idyllic tale, "Better to have loved and lost then to have lived and never loved anyone". Then with a minute to go it springs into some all-out polyphony of greatness. And it's here you can tell this album's gonna go somewhere.
Also worth mentioning is 'Flash A Hungry Smile', which takes the band's hobbyhorse with the 80s to a whole other level. Though this time there's more meaty cohesion, Harrison pondering: "Have you heard the birds and bees have all got STDs?" It's indie summery beauty with a smile.
And 'Waiting On A Miracle' is perhaps about as reflective as it gets, as a Duran Duran echo-thud thing sets off a mopey ambience of wholesomeness.
So see, serenity may no longer be the poster boy for civilisation, but Mystery Jets needed to make two albums to get to this place. And 'Serotonin' is so glorious, it's golden nugget after golden nugget...

Best Track –
Waiting On A Miracle (Available from your local record store/website!)

Let's Laud Cameron Diaz

2010-07-29T14:34:00.001Z

I am 23 years old, I am not that fond of the human race and the notion of whiling away an entire lifetime with another being, in all honesty, sounds both moronic and horrifying to me. There I was attending my first ever wedding last summer, minutes away from witnessing the happy couple lawfully register their undying love for one another, and my now-late granddad asks, "So Adam, when are you getting married?" Not one to quash his generation-sparked hope, I politely ignored the situation and continued to listen to my portable radio (If you're gonna wed, why do it on the opening day of the season?!).

And not one to search out the wisdom of someone who once decided to star opposite the never-comic Jack Black, Cameron Diaz certainly called forth my cerebrum after a recent interview. She said: "I think the big misconception in our society is that we're supposed to meet the one when we're 18 and we're supposed to get married to them and love them for the rest of our lives. Bullshit." Hmm, yeah Cameron, you make a good point.

"Who would want to be with the same person for 80 years? Why not break it up a little bit?" Not me, Cameron. And yeah, I believe you're right! "I think people get freaked out about getting married and spending 20 or 30 years sleeping with the same person but if that's the case, don't do it. Have someone for five years and another person for another five years. Life is long and lucky and yes, love might last forever, but you don't always live with the person you love forever." OMG Cameron, you're so, so right. I SO know where you're coming from.

Maybe it's because I have never fallen in love with something that isn't a major football team out of the North of England. And that following my first few experiences of getting close to another, another turned out to be a total douche. Twice. But still, consuming 80 years with the exact same person, seeing their same, invariable face every time you wake up, yening for that small bit of seldom alone time - are you kidding me?! No way am I doing that, I'm freaked out about marriage because it's marriage, not because I wish to get married before I hit 30.

The divorce rate is reportedly at its lowest for 29 years in 2010. Is this something we should be celebrating, though? Why is separation considered a bad thing? I think people are right to split, it shows character, self-assuredness, confidence to go it alone and an attempt at this supposed supposition of happiness. Finally, I can't think of a better way to conclude this brief spot of musing with the words of one Cosmo. The only Cosmo worth knowing...

DL –
Oasis 'Married With Children'

"I've No Complaints"

2010-07-29T12:37:00.004Z

Haven't blogged about this for a little while...

"They've done the job well. I've never been refused when I've asked for money for a player. What can I do other than carry on the way we're doing it and the way I'm allowed to - I've no complaints.The debt has come through by the club being bought out by an owner. You know full well that when a business is bought it's usually bought with debt. Because it's a football club it seems to attract more negative reporting from the media and from the fan but Manchester United Football Club, when it went plc, it was always going to be bought. It was inevitable. So when a particular family like the Glazers have bought it, it's unfair they come in for criticism because anybody could have bought it."

When is the SAF man ever wrong? Once in a blue moon, as it were.

Related posts:
Everything Will Be Alright (29/5/10)
Bias Bias Coverage (28/5/10)
Common Sense Talks (22/5/10)
Don't Let It Be Too Late (9/5/10)
I Swear I Knew It All Along (24/3/10)
Love United, Don't Mind Glazer (16/3/10)
We're In This Together (26/1/10)

DL –
Blood Red Shoes 'Follow The Lines'

Say "Astronaut" #12

2010-07-27T12:23:00.003Z

From 'The Hamptons' (S5E21)

DL –
Interpol 'A Time To Be So Small'

Festival

2010-07-20T15:20:00.011Z

I am sunburnt to a crisp. I have dry lips, a cold and am almost blind thanks to a cyst that decided to choose last weekend to combust and drip to my eyelids. I am tired, have a bad back and am in near-debt thanks to £9 cheeseburgers and £2.50 ATM charges. My favourite jeans are muddied at the bottom and I've got a load of washing to do. But do you know why Latitude Festival was so much fun?

Because of The National.

Because of Mumford & Sons.

Because of The xx.

Because of Vampire Weekend.

And because of The National.

Did I mention how incredible The National were?

DL –
Sigur Ros 'Festival'

Vampire Love

2010-07-10T20:28:00.003Z

Don't you just love it when these big crazes come along? Like the Tamagotchi Generation One. Or garage (music). Heck, Primark even. And 'The Twilight Saga' is indisputably the most feverish movie/book franchise on planet Earth today. Its ballooning popularity in the run up to second instalment 'New Moon' is what first clenched my attentions - and if I was gonna watch the sequel, I had to check out the first. Both of which I was truly endowed with. They had a sorta trashy, modest value to them which to me justified all the hoopla. Plus, you know, have you SEEN Taylor Lautner?!
So today, as well as serve my excitement for third part 'Eclipse', I attempted to carry out an experiment. It is the second day of release after all, so I went into the pictures ready to observe these Twifans (correct term) for all their maddening vampire compulsion. Course, like most 23-year-old Jews who hero-worship George Costanza, crowded places are never a good look for me. But although the screening safetied my own disposition, it was disappointing not to see virtually every seat taken up. In fact, there were quite a few empty seats, though that could also have been down to the fact that the cinema was showing 'Eclipse' literally every half-hour.
A movie of this size naturally needs its actors to act - and boy do they! Kristen Stewart's outing as Bella Swan, in particular, won't bag her an Oscar nod - chiefly 'cause it's not that kinda flick - but don't let that take anything away from an entirely plausible performance. She's a telling tale, too, as author Stephenie Meyer questions if one should give all up for the sake of another. It's an old-school take but eventually finds its footing during the closing chapter.
The fight scenes pretty much revel in their humbleness - there's little overblown and essentially dull swishes and swashes. And the sequence in which Robert Pattinson's vamp Edward Cullen proposes to Bella is poignant beyond control, much thanks to Sia's 'My Love' - as an aside, 'Twilight' soundtracks are supreme in their own right (Thom Yorke, Vampire Weekend, Florence, Paramore and Death Cab have all contributed over the last three).
And just as I treat the vampires in HBO's 'True Blood' as representatives of all kinds of minorities, they and the werewolves play the same cards here, both species even coming together at one point to fight off Bella's evildoers.
It ain't all love, loss and bloodsucking, either. At times the film mimics itself for its weighty temper - Lautner's Jacob telling Edward that he should keep Bella warm in the hypothermic conditions because "I am hotter than you" speaks of a humorous extra layer.
But really, it's Bella's closing speech to Edward that rings true not only to Meyer's intention of bringing forward individualism, but to all those Twifans too needing a place in the world. Here's said-speech: "This wasn't a choice between you and Jacob - it was a choice between who I should be and who I am. I've always felt out of step - like, literally stumbling through my life - I've never felt normal, because I'm not normal. I don't want to be. I've had to face death, and loss, and pain in your world but I've also never felt stronger - like, more real; more myself - because it's my world, too. It's where I belong."
'Eclipse' for me worked as a confirmation that Bella isn't reliant on another and is entirely her true identity. 'Twilight', eh? Way more than just a craze.

DL –
Ash 'Vampire Love'

Albums Of Last Month

2010-07-01T00:00:00.005Z

Johnny Flynn 'Been Listening' (Transgressive Records)

What happens when a rousing movement emerges as the latest trend, is that a swirl of third-rate spinoffs follow as a consequence. Hello 'Popstars', no thanks 'Fame Academy'. Hello Starbucks, no thanks Caffe Nero. Hello Mumford & Sons, no thanks Stornoway. And if it wasn't for Johnny Flynn's pre-'Sigh No More' debut album 'A Larum', one could easily infer that he and his Sussex Wit are only here and now because of Marcus and his. But really, Johnny, real name Joe, is just as epoch-making as Mumford, Noah and Marling - and 'Been Listening' is yet another grrrrreat album to pile upon the nu-folk vista of sublimity.
While 'A Larum' was right 'n' rosy in parts, this is pretty much wholehearted doldrums and drowning forsakenness all boxed in profound strummed grace and winsome refrains. Colin Firth's George Falconer in 'A Single Man' if he was real, born in South Africa and had Shakespeare posters on his wall.
'Lost and Found', with its beginning of the killer picking you'd find on Jeffrey Lewis's cutting room floor (only 'cause it was too pretty), speaks from the mind of someone on the edge, much like a lot of 'Been Listening'. However, here they "lie a-dying in bed; It's time for me and death to wed; I'll taste the loam; With a breath my body's dead". So despondent, but unfeigned and addicting just the same.
And like all the fabulous folk records of late, Ms Marling herself is in attendance via either body or spirit. As she should be, because 'The Water' would patently miss her silvery tones trotting along its ridiculously honeyed guitar work any other way.
'Amazon Love' is where the glamour of before meets its summit, arresting piano stemming from 'Hurt'-period Johnny Cash or something. "Blow me home, take me in, hold me close; We're aware of perspective to not be rejected; blow me home," goes the breakable-sounding Johnny midway through, his diffidence on show as black and white as ever, bearing witness to the wants of all around us.
Johnny Flynn is one accomplished inspiration. And if 'Been Listening' doesn't shift him to the fore by the sides of his nu-folk brethrens, nothing will. But that's fine, because I know it's brilliant. And so should you...

Best Track –
The Water

Eminem 'Recovery' (Polydor Records/Interscope Records)

This is a first. Never has one so distant from the safely self-doubting dominion of indie managed to acquire an Album Of Last Month. What's even more mystifying is that Marshall Bruce Mathers III has been around shifting a good 80 million or so LPs for well over a decade. 'Recovery' may not be his most noteworthy, but it sure as shootin' is for a good deal of time. "I guess I had to go to that place to get to this place," Eminem reflects on lead single 'Not Afraid', itself a guiding light of newfound spunk and guts.
Team-ups with Ozzy Osbourne ('Going Through Changes') and Pink ('Won't Back Down') should flunk like the BP share price, but they really don't. "I'm debating on leaving this world this evening... I'm hatin' my reflection... Fame startin' to give me an excuse to be at an all-time low... And I just lost my fuckin' best friend... Hailie, this one is for you," he declares on 'Changes', downright angry, downright real. It all too makes for yet another heavy-hearted Eminem ditty, taking on the sorrowfulness of 'Stan' from 'The Marshall Mathers LP' and 'Curtain Call's 'When I'm Gone'.
Though this ain't all Marshall falling from grace for a shot in the arm. Well, it mostly is, but 'No Love' (featuring the now-imprisoned Lil Wayne) and 'W.T.P.' both sample that of a dance moxie ("Now you can do this on your own but everyone knows that no-one likes to be alone, so get on the floor and grab somebody, ain't nothin' but a White Trash Party," he goes on the latter). And Eminem may be steamed up and steely throughout, but he can't keep his naturally comedic foible at bay. There's less of last year's "Damn, I think Kim Kardashian's a man", more "Man get these whack cocksuckers off stage, where the fuck is Kanye when you need him?"
But the strongest number goes to the Rihanna-featuring 'Love The Way You Lie', a profoundly popstumous stomp of unpretentiousness you'd half-expect on an Usher record - Only with extra of the junky acoustic strings de-stressing below and not so much of the "Right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe, I can't breathe... Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall".
Production-wise it's not as glossy as it could be, but Eminem's PO'd intentness sorta overrides all that. Jeez, talk about a recovery.

Best Track –
Love The Way You Lie

Say "Astronaut" #11

2010-06-30T12:09:00.004Z

From 'The Face Painter' (S6E22)

DL –
Kings of Leon 'Fans'

Backwards

2010-06-27T22:42:00.001Z

Football, for all its heartbreak and splendour, is one of the most backward-thinking pastimes going. It's not just about goal-line technology, or there lack of. I hear chants of homophobia every other week at Old Trafford, even the odd bit of racism here and there. If boss Fabio Capello can come out and say, "We played well", after that performance, he's representing denialism in its upmost form. What the fuck is up with that? England didn't "play well", they were fucking shocking. He just can't admit to himself his own faults, much like most who play the game, watch it and run it.

DL –
The Futureheads 'Walking Backwards'

Gutted

2010-06-26T23:16:00.003Z

Gutted. I am absolutely gutted that the United States couldn't push their way past Ghana in this evening's World Cup Round 2 clash. I don't even remember feeling this pissed after England got knocked out of something - and I've enough of those to easily compete. I mean, this feeling of sorrow is bordering on that of which I felt after United lost to Leeds in the FA Cup earlier this year.

Last week on the day both England and the US progressed to the last 16, I found myself cheering more after Landon Donovan's 92 minute winner than Jermaine Defoe's odd knee finish. Thing is, I've never ever felt particularly English and I really want soccer to one day be huge in America.

I will one day live in the United States, for, like, the rest of my life. So there's still time for soccer to grow and grow and grow by the time I arrive there to stay. But right now I'm just so gutted and not really all that worried over England's game v Germany tomorrow.

DL –
Bright Eyes 'Gold Mine Gutted'

I Play Upfront, I'm Popular

2010-06-25T02:52:00.001Z

Conan O'Brien tweeted this ten hours ago: "Don’t underestimate the influence of the World Cup. I’m already adding a vuvuzela section to our TBS band." That's right, one the US's biggest chatshow hosts mentioned the World Cup to his 1,108,882 followers.

The story "Are Landon Donovan and Estranged Wife Bianca Kajlich Reconciling?" was placed in a pretty prominent position on celebrity magazine People's website for a good few hours, too.

And President Bill Clinton was present at the US's last-gasp win over Algeria that has taken them to Saturday's Round 4 game v Ghana. Folks, the United States of America is starting to figure football out, I think. Let's pray it continues...

DL –
Nada Surf 'Popular'

10 Reasons Why Cristiano Ronaldo Is Better Than Lionel Messi

2010-06-20T00:59:00.006Z

I watched his first ever game for my team. I watched his last ever game for my team. And a good lot in between, too. So there's no bias behind my belief that Cristiano Ronaldo is the greatest footballer of all time, obviously. And here's 10 reasons why he's better than that Mesy bloke, or whatever his name is...
1. Mental toughness. Ronaldo went through an entire season of suffering booing following the Wayne Rooney winking incident of 2006. Nobody knows how Messi would cope under such pressure.

2. National dependency. While Messi has many a class talent to play alongside for Argentina, Ronaldo is the go-to guy for Portugal. Plus he's captained the country from the age of 22.

3. Experience. Ronaldo's played at the very highest level in both the Premier League and La Liga. Messi has so far only played in the latter.

4. Shear speed. Ronaldo's tempo on the pitch matches that of an Olympic athlete, whereas Messi isn't even the fastest for Barcelona.

5. Champions League record. Ronaldo took Man United to two consecutive CL finals. Messi may have won the competition twice, but was actually injured for the 05/06 final v Arsenal.

6. Free-kicks. The take-in breaths, the long run-ups, the audacious distances. Ronaldo's the finest free-kick taker on the planet, Messi just doesn't match up.

7. Special moments. The Portsmouth free-kick, the Roma header, the FC Porto long-ranger, the Fulham sprint, the first to score in his first four La Liga games. Sure Messi's got a few in the bag, but Ronaldo's are endless.

8. Headers. Both, of course, are fantastic at heading the ball. But Ronaldo's got the advantage of being over six foot tall, and has used/uses such to his advantage on the most vital of occasions.

9. Versatility. Not only is Ronaldo tougher mentally, more experienced, faster, better at free-kicks and headers, but he can use both feet and freely plays all across the attack. Left-footed Messi just isn't as versatile.

10. Because he just is.

Say "Astronaut" #10

2010-06-17T12:10:00.003Z

From 'The Race' (S6E10)

DL –
Santogold 'My Superman'

Future Sport For America

2010-06-13T00:13:00.000Z

I love the United States of America. I love football. So why can't the two learn to love each other? Well, readers, that might all be about to change. National networks ESPN and ABC are broadcasting the entirety of the World Cup. The US managed a tie with supposedly quite-good England in yesterday's said-World Cup match. And Thierry Henry is likely to join David Beckham in MLS over the next twelve months.

Does this, however, mean that Susie Blake of Cheesecake Drive, Amarillo, Texas gets excited about the Houston Dynamo-FC Dallas Texas derby in the year 2022? No, probably not. But it's definitely going in the right direction. When I live in America a good deal later on in my life, I don't wanna have to miss my Manchester team as much as I would do today.

I saw this in Griffith Park, Los Angeles in the year 2008.

And I just saw this on the country's national newspaper's homepage.

Sure I want England to do well in the World Cup, but I gotta look out for my future, too...

Say "Astronaut" #9

2010-06-06T00:00:00.000Z

From 'The Opposite' (S5E22)

DL –
Oasis 'Born On A Different Cloud'

Our Love To Turn On The Antics

2010-06-04T00:00:00.003Z

Did you know that the first time I ever heard Interpol was in a 2003 episode of Friends titled 'The One in Barbados'? And did you know that the first time I chose to listen to Interpol's debut album 'Turn On The Bright Lights' was whilst I was off sick from school with the flu? And did you know that the first time I saw Interpol live was at an outdoor event on a pouring July afternoon, meaning I had to watch from the bleachers?!

All of which means absolutely nada to you. But Interpol? Well, they mean something to everybody.

DL –
'Obstacle 2' (from Turn On The Bright Lights)
'Next Exit' (from Antics)
'Pace Is The Trick' (from Our Love To Admire)
'Lights' (from Untitled Forthcoming Fourth Record OMG I Can't Fucking Wait!)

Album Of Last Month

2010-06-01T00:00:00.005Z

The National 'High Violet' (4AD)

What is the biggest injustice you can think of? The death of Diana? The sexual exploitation of children? Mel Gibson? How about when one of your dearest bands don't get the utter appreciation their unsurpassed talent is worthy of? This is plainly a familiar vexation amongst kosher music fans, and one that has seen, say, Dizzee Rascal undertake major league production in order to wangle such riches. The National, the Brooklyn five-piece who are now five albums in but no Calvin Harris team-up in sight, are one of those groups. 2005's splendid 'Alligator' may have upsized their cult, 2007's grand 'Boxer' that much more, yet their affable, stunning indie rock is still yet to make farther than Josh Schwartz's iPod and R.E.M. support slots. Notin' wrong with that, but if the faultless splendor stemming from 'High Violet' fails to stimulate the great unwashed a la 'Automatic For The People' by the year's end, there's even more evidence for ya: Most people are total imbeciles.
'Terrible Love' sets things in motion by way of steering semi-'87 U2 reverb around a crunchy, dogged riff, with timid leader Matt Berninger offering his customary misty wordplay ("It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders; It's a terrible love that I'm walking with").
The maybe-a-tad prosaic 'Anyone's Ghost' does pull momentum back a bit, but all is forgiven when 'Afraid of Everyone's indelible mellifluousness treks under a haunting, bashful wall of Tindersticks-type goodness. "I defend my family with my orange umbrella; I'm afraid of everyone; With my shiny new star-spangled tennis shoes on; I'm afraid of everyone," shivers Berninger, via what is perhaps a dig at our all-front young. Already this is The National's most capable record yet. Every gradation of their plush-but-not-too-plush commotion is coming together, only to forge these meaty opuses of world-weary imagination.
"Lay me on the table, put flowers in my mouth; And we can say that we invented a summer-loving torture party," he evocatively tells in the light-dark 'Lemonworld', a Wilco keys-ferried swash of categorical panorama... Hampstead Heath in song or something. And 'England' is probably the best National song, like, ever. Drop-dead piano, a strings-hefty backdrop, glorious strains of grandeur. "Famous angels never come through England, England gets the ones you never need; I'm in a Los Angeles cathedral; Minor singing airheads, sing for me," Berninger strikes like a delicate pioneer. 'Heart Of Gold' for the 21st century indeed.
So, surely this is it. The National's Elbow moment. The one that'll take 'em en route to Wembley, both Arena and Stadium... Hmm, you know what? They're just too good for that.

Best Track –
England, though go iTunes to get it!
DL –
Bloodbuzz Ohio

Everything Will Be Alright

2010-05-29T00:00:00.001Z

The year I bought my first United shirt - or rather my dad bought me my first United shirt - was 1991. I was aged 5, illiterate to the world around me. A year later marked the beginning of the Premier League, alongside the growing prominence of Sky Sports, as the game of football over time became big business for all those involved.

Some clubs had the marketing prowess to take advantage of national and international TV rights, some hadn't. Mine most certainly did - and does - as the global brand of Manchester United went on to rival that of the New York Yankees. The club was, until 2005, running as a public limited company, meaning that if a rich Florida businessman wanted to take us over by way of borrowing lots and lots of money, he could. And then he did, sticking us 'about' £600m in the red, as it were.

Big football clubs, sorry corporations, tend to live in herds of debt. Tesco, Marks & Spencer, ITV. It's obviously not ideal but as long as it's controlled, the rules don't disagree. My team's owners, if they were real bastards, could have therefore hiked up ticket prices and prevented the team manager from purchasing big-money signings. But they really haven't. Earlier this year, they sorted a bond issue which will handle the club's debt until 2017. Not only that, but we've won everything under the sun since the take-over.

United are in good shape, being one of the best run businesses in the West, making transfers Fergie wants, agreeing new sponsorship deals, competing as one of the best on the European stage. So when those stupid green-and-gold scarves started popping up in and around Old Trafford, it was odd. Especially considering the debt wasn't exactly news, and it all spun off from the bond issue announcement, which is essentially a good thing.

"It is ironic that the protests gathered momentum after an event that put the financing structure of the club on a better footing," David Gill told yesterday's Independent. And the scarves? "I think that minority will go away. I see people from Asia walking out of the megastore with a red-and-white scarf and they just assume they (green-and-gold ones) are official scarves and go and buy one. I think there is an element of that. A lot of people understand what it means but a lot of them don't."

But it isn't just the club's faraway fans that don't understand what they mean. Old Trafford on matchdays has recently been a sea of these uneducated, bandwagon-jumping morons. However, they're still attending, which only raises their lack of know-all even further. If you were truly angry against your team's owners, why put money in your club's pockets every week by paying for a ticket?! Why not go and watch FC United of Manchester?! It's like they want to have their cake and eat it, too.

I'm pretty much repeating previous blogs here. But today was a kind of landmark for those who, like me, really don't mind the Glazers. They're not the devil. They want the absolute best for United, and there's been no reason to believe otherwise since they bought us. But today was huge because the senseless collective who thought they could somehow wangle up enough dough to purchase - and run - the biggest sporting organisation on the planet were struck by the debt decreasing by a good £20m.

But really, it's not even about who's behind the scenes. For me, unless the manager or team's success is negatively impacted, red-and-white is where it starts and finishes.

Related posts:
Bias Bias Coverage (28/5/10)
Common Sense Talks (22/5/10)
Don't Let It Be Too Late (9/5/10)
I Swear I Knew It All Along (24/3/10)
Love United, Don't Mind Glazer (16/3/10)
We're In This Together (26/1/10)

DL –
The Killers 'Everything Will Be Alright'

Bias Bias Coverage

2010-05-28T11:37:00.005Z

Glazer family: "The board notes recent press speculation regarding a possible bid for Manchester United. The owners remain fully committed to their long-term ownership of the club. Manchester United is not for sale and the owners will not entertain any offers."

David Gill: "Sir Alex is not restricted financially. I can look you in the eye and say that."

Right, please can we stop the stupid little fucking protests now?

Oh wait, BBC: "Manchester United was bought by the Glazer family for £800m in 2005. In the 2009/10 season the club finished second to Chelsea in the Premier League. They were also knocked out of the Champions League in the quarter finals, and have ended the season relatively unsuccessfully by their standards, winning only the League Cup."

BBC, how about the fact that we won everything under the fucking sun between 2005 and 2009? Partiality journalism coming from the organisation that prides itself on its requirement to be impartial. Disgusting.

Related posts:
Common Sense Talks (22/5/10)
Don't Let It Be Too Late (9/5/10)
I Swear I Knew It All Along (24/3/10)
Love United, Don't Mind Glazer (16/3/10)
We're In This Together (26/1/10)

Caspa The Friendly Chav

2010-05-28T00:00:00.002Z

Generally speaking, I'm not a fan of my fellow human beings. Especially those who are from where I am from. And I and Caspa, aka Gary 'Looks like a chavvy lad-boy from London, mate, init, nah mate, init' McCann, aka Gazza (probably), aka Maccas (probably), aka Gary McCann, would most likely struggle to hold a down conversation outside of the subject of expensive sausage rolls if we met in a service station.

But sometimes it can be a good thing to not be so condemnatory of people. Especially when the mortal in question happens to be the architect of, like, the best fucking dubstep choon since... er... umm... its Wiki is too hard to read!

Generally speaking, I'm (clearly) not a fan of dubstep. But this is amaze.

DL –
Caspa 'Back For The First Time'

"Shut It Down"

2010-05-25T04:23:00.006Z

Very few television shows fail to jump the shark. Even some of the greatest, after a few seasons and the employment of fresh scenarios and new writers, eventually lose their cool. 24, that 'real-time' drama which concluded in the US about two and a half hours ago, by all means had its ups and downs. But as toilsome as it is to conserve consistency, Jack Bauer, in the main, was pretty darn notable.

"There is nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal," Russian naughty man Yuri Suvarov tells US naughty man Charles Logan of Bauer on Day 8 at roughly 1.57pm. See, 24 itself had often been "wounded" by falling ratings and threats of the axe prior to its eventual cancellation. But, like the protagonist up'd his savageness, Day 8's final few hours saw some of the show's most fearless and brilliant writing and acting to date. It turned in the goods when the clock was ticking.

And the actual finale? Well, for all its great anticipation, it certainly wasn't soaring on emotion in those final few minutes - Not like the Hollywood-style blistering violins roasting away at the end would have wanted anyway. But then maybe it was its ridiculous expectancy that overshadowed the whole thing. In terms of the plot, Chloe shooting Jack was nowhere near as jolting as it sounds on script, though Jack viciously biting off Pillar's ear probably made up for it.

The last hour for sure asked a multiplicity of questions - Will Jack go with Chloe? Is President Taylor going to sign the treaty? Surely Logan won't finish not being finished himself?! Plus, just like the rest of the series, the story was exceedingly unpretentious to follow, and it truly left you hanging on right 'til the very end as to Jack's demise. But see, we already knew that there's a movie on the way. So - another query - why put a gun to Jack's head with minutes to go when Fox has previously announced a film deal for the show?!

The thrust seen through Jack in the last eight days shone through President Taylor's refusal to sign the treaty - good overpowering evil, a healthy conscience equals inner peace, etc, etc, etc... Further, Chloe's teary-eyed sayonara to Jack was sweet, though (at least for I) not cogent enough to transmute outside of the screen. And so, it's over but it's not really over, then. Sure, the clock counted three seconds down for the first ever time to mark the end, but all concluded with a sense the scriptwriters are still high on notions to sensationalise politics for its corruption and decipher more ways to save a man from, well, I'm all out.

In short, the finale was more than competent, however those last few minutes were perhaps too predictable/anticlimactic/like-a-film-before-the-film's-even-made for the show to go out on that high we were all praying it would. Really though, 24 jumped the shark before it even hit halfway. But accept it for its stupid absurdity, and you've got yourself eight days of utter satisfaction.

DL –
Sufjan Stevens 'Jackbauersonville'

Say "Astronaut" #8

2010-05-23T01:22:00.003Z

From 'The Stall' (S5E12)

DL –
Pixies 'Tony's Theme'

Common Sense Talks

2010-05-22T03:12:00.002Z

"There's a lot made of it, maybe too much. The fans are obviously passionate about the club but sometimes they need to focus on supporting the club a bit more than getting carried away with the technicalities of who's in charge. Personally I think the Glazers have always put money into Manchester United to buy players when needed," Ben Foster, ex-Manchester United goalkeeper, May 2010.

Couldn't. Agree. More.

Related posts:
Don't Let It Be Too Late (9/5/10)
I Swear I Knew It All Along (24/3/10)
Love United, Don't Mind Glazer (16/3/10)
We're In This Together (26/1/10)

Say "Astronaut" #7

2010-05-22T03:03:00.003Z

From 'The Lip Reader' (S5E6)

DL –
Lightspeed Champion 'Dry Lips'

Nice Dream

2010-05-17T01:03:00.003Z

When Cristiano Ronaldo fouled Malaga's Patrick Mtiliga in the 86th minute of Real Madrid's final game of the season, it wasn't because Mtiliga had been scuttling the Portuguese winger. In actuality, he was lashing out at himself, or rather a first season in the Spanish capital and without a trophy to show for it. Barcelona were already 4-0 up see, so even if Madrid did manage to advance on a 1-1 dead heat, the La Liga title was still headed to the Nou Camp.

But I'm not sure if Cristiano has anything to be truly upset about. Yet, anyway. Was it not asking too much for this fresh set of galácticos to acquire something as momentous as to overcome the power of Lionel and co in their first year together? And if they did, surely anything but another La Liga/UCL the season after would be deemed insufficient.

Now they can build on the fact that they took Barcelona within a point of the pinnacle, that's eight whole more than the season before. Of course Pellegrini will be unemployed give a week, but that's just the Madrid way.

Ronaldo himself, netting an overall 33 goals in 35 games, hasn't exactly had a bad season either, plus that goals-per-game average beats any year he had in Manchester.

Look, here's what's gonna go down. José Mourinho will next Saturday evening be lifting his second UCL and first proper treble, marking the most pivotal moment in Internazionale's rich history for four decades. All prior to leaving his post for the Bernabéu. Then, around this time next year, Real will take back that title, Messi the fallen wonder. Oh boy, one can dream...

DL –
Radiohead '(Nice Dream)'

Say "Astronaut" #6

2010-05-17T00:27:00.003Z

From 'The Little Kicks' (S8E4)

DL –
Arab Strap 'Don't Ask Me To Dance'

Allegedly Not Nice People

2010-05-15T23:26:00.005Z

Tiger Woods
Ashley Cole
John Terry
David Boreanaz
David Letterman
Jesse James
Steven Gerrard's wife
Vernon Kay
Mark Owen
Ronan Keating

Just saying...

DL –
Kate Nash 'Dickhead'

Say "Astronaut" #5

2010-05-14T02:02:00.002Z

From 'The Junior Mint' (S4E20)

DL –
Jimmy Eat World 'Lucky Denver Mint'

Don't Panic

2010-05-10T00:04:00.001Z

Let's not panic, eh? Yep, we only lifted the Carling Cup all season. However, what some are predicting as wholesale changes is unnecessary and simply won't happen. We came within a point of the Premiership in its most bizarre season yet - after shifting the Greatest Footballer Of All Time, I might add - were ridiculously jinxed in the UCL quarter-final to Bayern Munich, and the FA Cup, well, we won't go there...

If Wayne Rooney never got wounded in Germany, we would most likely be lifting the Premiership for a fourth year in a row. However, these things present themselves every so often and without him, Chelsea looked a cut above us at Old Trafford those few days later, Drogba offside or on.

So, to the squad. Should Dimitar Berbatov depart? Probably. Will he? I doubt it. Unless he's fallen out with the bossman, there's most likely enough deftness there to serve as backup for who we actually do bring in. The only players I expect to exit are Ben Foster, which Sir Alex has virtually admitted to, and Anderson, who reportedly did indeed cross swords with the honcho.

So, coming in... Actually, now to who's already there. Starting from the back, Rafael has simply got to learn from his raw mistakes that arguably cost us the UCL. Jonny Evans, now the go-to support for no Rio Ferdinand/Nemanja Vidic, is still only 22 and improving all the time. In the midfield, Nani and Antonio Valencia will better their respective highly decent seasons. Michael Carrick, who also apparently had words with Fergie, can still do a job confidence-permitting. Darren Fletcher now turns it on for both small and big opposition, while Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes have secured another hot-and-cold season each. Up top, Rooney is sure to build on his best year yet. Berbatov's been covered, and Michael Owen could get a new deal if his second term's as good as his first pre-injury. Not forgetting the up-and-down Gary Neville, dependable John O'Shea/Wes Brown, getting-better Darren Gibson and 'returning' Owen Hargreaves. Oh, did I forget Ji-Sung Park and Federico Macheda? They can go, not that they will.

Which leaves us to the entrance door. David Silva, who United went for two seasons ago, would be ideal behind Rooney. At least on paper, anyway. Valencia media have dismissed talk of a move, but how long can he and David Villa stay at the Mestalla, harming their big-team potential? Supposedly promising Fulham defender Chris Smalling, we've already got incoming. So maybe one other. But where? A striker, possibly. But who is another blog post.

See, if this is a 'transitional' season, this year's stars can be next year's icons. That plus "one or two things" as Fergie tells, and we'll be fine. Honest.

DL –
Coldplay 'Don't Panic'