Thursday, December 1

Albums Of 2016 - No. 15 to No. 1

1. Frank Ocean 'Blonde'

2. Bon Iver '22, A Million'

3. Glass Animals 'How To Be A Human Being'

4. Klangstof 'Close Eyes To Exit'

5. Band of Horses 'Why Are You OK'

6. Frightened Rabbit 'Painting Of A Panic Attack'

7. Drake 'Views'

8. Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam 'I Had A Dream That You Were Mine'

9. Santigold '99 Cents'

10. Jamie T 'Trick'

11. Daughter 'Not to Disappear'

12. Michael Kiwanuka 'Love & Hate'

13. Explosions in the Sky 'The Wilderness'

14. Lonely the Brave 'Things Will Matter'

15. David Bowie 'Blackstar'

Albums Of 2016 - No. 30 to No. 16

16. Car Seat Headrest 'Teens of Denial'

17. Whitney 'Light Upon The Lake'

18. Radiohead 'A Moon Shaped Pool'

19. Mutual Benefit 'Skip a Sinking Stone'

20. Animal Collective 'Painting With'

21. Yeasayer 'Amen & Goodbye'

22. Billie Marten 'Writing of Blues and Yellows'

23. Bloc Party 'Hymns'

24. BRONCHO 'Double Vanity'

25. Bat For Lashes 'The Bride'

26. Weezer 'The White Album'

27. Kanye West 'The Life of Pablo'

28. The 1975 'I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It'

29. Twin Peaks 'Down In Heaven'

30. Lady Gaga 'Joanne'

Sunday, August 28

Rashford Time

I haven't really enjoyed this season. Yes, Utd are at the top of the league. Yes, the beautiful, defying arrogance is back. And yes, even the football is no longer devoid of any life whatsoever.

But I never wanted Mourinho. And although I'm supporting him as any fan should, there's one thing he's done that's been pissing me off more than anything else.

It's not the needless circus he's created around Bastian. It's not the fact he's shifted CBJ over Rojo and Varela over Darmian (although really, wtf?). Nor is it the subtle-but-constant 'I'm better than LVG' shtick in each and every press conference.

It's Marcus Rashford. The future of Manchester United. The bright, shining hope who saved last season. The 18-year-old boy from Wythenshawe who, especially after Giggs left this summer, is now carrying the definition of this great club in an era when we've been forced to wreck our identity by stooping to Jose's devil.

The main reason I was fearful over Mourinho is cos of his policy over youth - a Utd characteristic. His idea of the "right moment" for promising youngsters has always been too late, going by our traditions anyway.

Rashford didn't play any minute of the first two games of the season... I wasn't fucking happy.

I get why Jose feels playing one upfront is a benefit to our domination. And I get why that one upfront is Ibra - he is absolute class and, even better, feels like a Utd forward.

But Rashford is too good to be discounted to Europa League and League Cup football.

We should, as a total priority, be giving Rashford special treatment. Given what he represents, the reputation Jose ought to be rallying against and, most importantly, his sheer fucking ability, we need to develop him with regular Premier League minutes.

Play him either side of Ibra instead of Mata, Martial or Mkhitaryan. Play him in front of Ibra against weak opposition. Play him as a sub for 20 minutes in the majority of games, at the very fucking least.

The point is, come the middle of Fergie Time away to a hard-to-crack Hull City, he was the one who stepped up in his first chance this season. Because he's that good.

The most Manchester United player on the pitch won the game in the most Manchester United way. Without him, we'd be lost.

Sunday, August 14

Come On, United

It would have been wrong to be successful in the seasons after SAF retired. These pathetic, bumbling three years have been a deserved, humble tribute to the greatest they'll ever be.

Jose, it's down to you to put us back on top now... Please don't sell our soul in the process. 🙏

Sunday, May 29

José Mourinho, You Better Fucking Respect Us

Sunday, May 15


How do you steal the thunder of Manchester United's worst moment in its history?

By staging an elaborate security blunder which causes the game to be abandoned at the risk of becoming the laughing stock of the world.

Ok, not finishing in the Top 4 isn't the worst moment in United's history. But since 1992/93? It's right fucking up there.

Thanks to Swansea City being utterly cunty pansies, we are officially going backwards. A post-Ferguson transition, this is no more. This is going from 7th to 4th to... 5th or fucking 6th.

This means it'll take even longer to get back to where we should be. We're at square one all over again.

So, Ed Woodward and Louis van Gaal both have to be fired. They are equally responsible for this mess and no longer deserve to be in charge.

Woodward should have fucking sacked VG after Norwich in December, as I stated after Norwich in December. Not to mention everything else the scared, bumbling moron is fucking up.

Van Gaal? Christ. I honestly like the guy, BUT HE DOESN'T GET UNITED. OR THE PREMIER LEAGUE. 46 goals?!?!?! The fact we are in this mess all cos of goal difference says everything that needs to be said about him.

Seriously. News all over the world is going on about United's 'red face' after such a stupid security mishap - but there's only one thing to be embarrassed about: the transition is over. :-(

Tuesday, May 10

Tonight: The Biggest Game Since May 2013 And Revenge For 1995

Let's fucking win this.

Sunday, March 20

The Biggest Win In The Post-SAF Era :-D

Fuck me. That was amazing. That, no question, was our biggest win since Ferguson retired. For many fucking reasons.

Lose/draw, and we'd be struggling to make the Champions League. Which would send us backwards as a club when we're meant to be in the title-challenging stage of transition.

But we won, and we're gonna make that top four. Ok, we'll be standing still rather than competing for the league, but at least we won't be regressing.

I was there when Marcus Rashford saved our season. Yet again. And it was amazing.

Don't get me wrong. Ed Woodward needs to get fucked and so does VG, but thank fuck there's Rashford around to save us. :-D

Monday, February 29


Last Thursday, around 9.30pm, Manchester United were half an hour away from their worst moment in the last 30 years of the club’s history.

A team from Denmark nobody had heard of until the Europa League draw was made last December, were on their way to knock United out. The official lowest point in the post-Ferguson transition.

I was sat in my seat, in the Ferguson Stand, fearing the absolute worst. No way. This can’t happen. I won’t let this happen. It just can’t.


An 18-year-old boy from Wythenshawe stepped up. A United fan. Right in front of the Stretford End. Twice.

He saved it. He saved LVG. He saved United. He saved us from the worst possible moment for three decades.

Thank you, Marcus. Thank you for giving us hope, for denting Arsenal’s titles hopes, for reminding us that no matter who’s in charge, there is no better sight than watching a homegrown United graduate rise to stardom. :-)

Saturday, February 6


I hate Ed Woodward. Ok, maybe he’s a good bloke, maybe he donates half his wages to the NSPCC or something. But - as the CEO of Manchester United - I fucking hate him.

In fact, I’ve hated him for a while. I wrote a post about all the things he’d done wrong when he was a year into the job.

But if we appoint Jose Mourinho as the next manager of Manchester United, I will hate him even more.

As much as the man in charge of the football - Louis van Gaal - doesn’t understand what United is, the man in charge of the club knows even little.

He might be a good marketer, signing soul-selling commercial deals day after day with kangaroo food brands in Korea. (Although, how hard can it be to slut the world’s biggest club out to every fucking hitchhiker with an audience?)

But as the man who sacked Moyes to the media before the poor bloke knew himself, who prostitutes United’s good name to every world-class player that’s just had a row with their manager, who briefs journalists at every nook and cranny to prove he’s on top of things, who was too scared to sack van Gaal when he really should have… he’s a disgrace to the role and should resign in apology.

But now there’s this. Jose Mourinho.

Of course Mourinho’s a great manager. You’d be stupid to deny that. But just because Weetos is a great cereal, doesn’t mean it should be served in porcelain.

Mourinho is not a United manager. He makes everything about him, he’s got no fucking class and he doesn’t promote youth.

Putting him in charge would drive United further away from the classic, traditional mould established by Busby and Ferguson, and bang into the cheap materialism set forth by the oil money clubs like City and Chelsea.

Simply hiring him to compete for trophies because the noisy neighbours just appointed their latest frontman is insane. It shows a lack of respect for United’s history and an utter bearhug to mercenary heaven.

After Ferguson left, United should have stuck his laws on the fucking wall and made sure they stayed there forever. ’Never say die’, ‘Free-flowing attack-minded football’, ‘Promote youth’, ‘Influence refs’, ‘Don’t tell the media everything’, ‘Keep the egos in check’, etc.

But United have already changed way too much under van Gaal, and instead of behaving more like a club who knows itself and wants to return to a civilised identity, we’re now going backwards because of Woodward’s - and it is Woodward - money-grubbing recklessness.

Please, Mr Glazers. Sack this cunt and give me my club back. :-(